Malie Dramas

It's Friday

2009-03-06T13:44:00.003-11:00

The day of the week all Samoans look forward to. Oh yes we do.

Here's a little picture of what a typical Friday at work is like-

Everyone comes to work in jeans, sports shoes, t-shirts, skimpy tops, hooker heels, and lots of bling. Why? Because its 24-hour wear baby, that's why!
My boss lies on the reception couch from 1pm to 4pm
Out of the 20 or so office cars normally parked outside, only 2 will remain parked throughout the day.
The finance officer is busy processing applications for staff advances.
When we lunch, it's nothing less than 2 hours. And then there's afternoon snacks (in town) for another hour.
At 3pm, one of the boys from the office is sent to buy a box of beer to be chilled in the office canteen fridge.
Also, at 3pm, I go home to say hello to my kids, give them 10 dvds to last the night and leave knowing I will be back in the early hours of the following morning.
The phone in reception rings for hours on end. And the receptionist? Gone to town to have her hair done.
Finance staff are at their desks all throughout the day. Because they have no lives.
I'm blogging, because who does work on Friday anyway?
The General Manager leaves work at 2 - to spend time with his wife.
When someone leaves to go to town, everyone asks "where are you going? can we come too?"
By 1pm, everyone in the office is yawning. The day ticks ever so slowly by.

Yes, it's the weekend. Thank God. Amen. See you on Monday.

Happenings in the office

2009-03-05T16:29:00.003-11:00

Because I'm on a roll with all this work talk, here's some more about work. Yes I love my job and ADORE my boss. Utterly adore him, I might add. To the point where I spend hours staring at him. Wishing I had a voodoo doll to stick pins in.

So last Friday, our driver, sales officer and finance officer went for a ride to town in our delivery van. While riding around, they thought "HEY it's Friday! Why don't we buy a few vailimas and start happy hour early!" Cos you know how it was only 12 noon. So with that brilliant idea in mind, they bought 6 beers between them and went for a joy ride and came back to work. All afternoon they were hanging around the canteen doing fuck-all. After work, we had our usual ritual Friday drinks. The finance officer, still spouting brilliant ideas, decided to TELL ME about their exciting midday escapade. Given that I was still quite sober, only 2 glasses of 42 Below in my system, I was not impressed. At all. Especially when the driver and sales officer are my staff. So I laughed and praised her for her daring behaviour. Meanwhile, I texted my boss and described what happened. It is important to note here that I am not a snitch. This involves drinking during work hours and they are my staff, with the exception of the finance officer. So...long story short, all 3 have been fired. Because this sort of behaviour is just not tolerated...in ANY workplace I might add.

So that's my story. Cos I'm bored. And it's 4.40pm and I'm still here.

Sometimes I hate my job

2009-03-05T12:45:00.004-11:00

So I get a series of texts from my boss this morning, while I was on my way back from a meeting with one of our customers.

Boss - "Where the fuck are you?"

Me - "On my way back to the office. Jeez."

Boss - "Girl do some fucking work. If you have downtime then study your job so you don't shit yourself if you're asked to present!"

GOD! Am I acting like a 5 year old that I have to be treated like one? Okay so I hate presentations and when I'm asked to do one, I freak. I've even pretended to be sick once or twice just so I don't have to do it. Not that it matters, as I come back to work and STILL have to make a presentation. I abhor public speaking with a vengeance. Give me a report to write and I will breeze through it. Stand me up in front of 2 or more people and I want to die. Literally.

So here I am in the office. Sulking. Like, worse than Tinto sulking. This is mega-sulking. I don't want to see my boss (who thankfully is in a workshop out of the office) or even think his name. If his text was supposed to motivate me, it's done the complete opposite. And I'm supposed to go with him tonight to take out our work colleagues from Australia. Ailoga. Take them yourself. Because I swear if I get drunk tonight, I know I will regret all the shit that will inevitably come out of my mouth.

But I guess this doesn't negate the fact that I do need to do some work. Lol. But I am not going to bow down and tell him he's right. I am doing work. Just not really into it if you know what I mean. I mean, I'm sitting here working and checking the clock every half hour. Only 3pm! Fuck!

Anyhew, enough bitching. Have a meeting to go and sit in and stare at the wall.

Offspring # 2

2008-11-19T17:10:00.002-11:00

So as I said in the previous entry, I became pregnant in March. Exact details need not be divulged. Sperm met egg and voila, consummation. The first few months were shitty, as it was with Tinto. I lost weight (and was never happier) and could barely go to work in the mornings. After that little phase, things went back to normal, less the excessive drinking, chain smoking, pool playing, and late nights. When put that way, I suppose no, things were not “back to normal”. Tinto was pleasantly surprised to have me home every evening. Cheeku was more than pleasantly surprised that our finances were in better shape thanks to no more red label. The extent of my social life was the odd Saturday breakfast and trip to the movies. The end.

The good things about this pregnancy – I was far less stressed out, I wasn’t eating for five, my body wasn’t swollen all over and my mood swings were few and far between (I think). The bad things – I hated going places, I loved coke floats far too much, I developed ear infections almost every week and I also developed chloasma (uneven skin pigmentation) on my neck which looked (and still does) hideous and which I hope to God will go away before Xmas.

After 42 weeks of lugging this little brat around, the doctor said I needed to be induced. Again. After going through the same thing with Tinto. Went in to MedCen on 10 November totally unprepared and scared shitless.

10.00am - they gave me the shot to induce contractions.
11.00am - I started getting contractions
11.15am – My water broke.
11.20am – Contractions closer together and hurt like a bitch!
11.30am – I was 8cm dilated.
11.45am – The midwife told me to start pushing. I felt like taking a shit instead. Lol.
11.55am – Out she came.

My beautiful Eden Elita Taufagalupe Chu Ling entered the world. She weighed 8lbs 3oz.

Thank you to all ou friends & family who came to visit and sent their best wishes.

Attempt #2

2008-11-19T17:03:00.001-11:00

After years (literally) of not updating the dramas of my mediocre life, here I am again. Attempt numero dos. Another chapter in my life closes and a new one begins. Well, truth be told, I would say about 10 chapters have passed since I last wrote a blog. However those moments have been captured elsewhere.

Just to recap:
- I moved from Digicel to British American Tobacco. I celebrated my 1 year anniversary with BAT last month.
- I became pregnant again in March this year. I gave birth to a girl on 10 November, 2008.
- A year of travels after a 3-year drought – went to Australia, NZ & Fiji.
- Have frequented V-Bar & Bora Bora this year, more than I care to remember.
- Have become a serious bebo addict. Hence, bebo has been blocked from our server at work.
- I am now 27 years old.

This is my life. Continued.

To my readers (if any) – enjoy.

The urge has returned

2007-04-11T16:30:00.000-11:00

I know, I haven't posted for yonks. A lot has happened and time has flown by too fast for me to try and record it in my dramatic life story.

So....

I'm feeling sad today. My dad has returned from NZ and recovered from his operation. Thank you all for your love and prayers. He hasn't been 100% since, and has lost interest in life. He sleeps all day and doesn't want to go out or do anything. It's so heartbreaking seeing my dad like this. I wish I could do something to make him snap out of it and embrace life in the way that he used to. Tinto is the only one who cheers him up. I miss my dad and the way things were. I pray he will get better soon.

Today was the NUS Graduation. Congratulations to all who graduated, yes including the two ~~ki's~~ former Miss Samoa girls who were in the paper today. Big deal. You don't see "Former Miss Queer" or "Former Prostitute" in the paper having graduated from uni...although I'm sure there have been scores of them who have. So yeah, congrats people. Big ups to you guys and see you at Hot n Spicy tonite. Heh.

Not really.

Tinto is now 16 months old. She's developed so much in her little life and has made a load of milestones to remember. She's quite a funny little character and has become quite independent. Pooh @ being carried and being fed. She wants to do it all herself. A real little monkey she is.

Chee and I are also doing well. There will always be mountains made out of molehills (on my part) and escapes to the clubs (on his part) and a whole lot of dramas, but after almost 2 years in the legal department, we're still holding on. E ka'i tuff!

And that's me for now.

The man in my life

2007-01-16T16:19:00.000-11:00

My father has been one of the leading characters in my life story. He has acted as loving dad, protector, educator, comedian, tyrant, corporal punisher and more. He has outdone himself in all these roles. He is dear to my heart and I love him.

I can look back and remember every single beating I got from my dad, all in the name of love and education and discipline. Every remorseful ~~sulky~~ tear I shed was deserved. When I was in trouble, my heart would thunder in my chest every time I would hear his car coming in the drive way. I was so afraid, that if I didn't have such powerful control over my bowels, I would've peed like a scared dog just hearing him open the door to the house, and even at 16 I was cowering behind my mother's skirts. There was one time when he called to pick him up from work. My mum told me to turn on the lights at our shop on the way to the hospital to pick him up. So I did. By the time I got to the hospital, my dad's face was carved in stone. He was absolutely furious. I was shaking in my shoes all the way home and could hardly drive with my dad sitting in the passenger's seat, ready to backhand me at any moment. When we got home, he sat me down and started shouting at me about being late to pick him up and where the hell did I go (lou alelo kao i se umu). I was bawling my eyes out and ran out, fa'alii as hell but secretly scared at the same time. I went to my brother's house and stayed there for days. After the tears, having had enough of staring at the cockroaches under the bed and befriending the millipedes, I devised my 5-year plan in place and was looking towards a brighter tomorrow, father-less of course. My dad was going to PAY and I would run away and everybody would be sorry when they found my dead anorexic body lying under a hedge. But airena. My mother picked me up a few days later and took me back home. I went along without a fight having realized ua galo o'u panty i le fale. Hoh!

Not a pretty picture is it?

It wasn't all bad. This happened only twice a year. The rest of the time we were a happy family. My dad looked out for me, and come to think of it, he and my mother spoiled me rotten, but look what an amazing person I have become because of it? My mental state is only slightly affected. Lol. My dad is a real character. My extended family all adore him, when they're not busy hating him, because he's funny, tells the greatest jokes, and tells you you're shit if he thinks so. He's very direct and speaks his mind. Not a diplomatic bone in his body. He's a doctor by profession and specializes in anaesthesia. He's the best in the business and knows his stuff like the back of his hand, having practised for 40 years. A real dinosaur he is.

A few months ago, he went to NZ for a check-up. For the past few years he's had imaginary heart attacks and cysts and cancerous lumps all over his body. So when he went for a check-up, we weren't too worried. Not until we received a call from him in NZ with not so good news. The doctors in NZ found a lump in his prostate. A cancerous one. If they don't take it out soon, it will develop into cancer and then it's terminal. My mother was beside herself with worry and was unrecognizable in her fear that my dad would soon be gone. My dad is becoming more frail as a result and has started to forget things. Senility edges ever closer and only Tinto and golf light up his life these days.

Well this is getting too personal now. All I can say is that I love my dad very much and his little girl Tinto adores him. You should see the way her face lights up when she sees her grampa...the way none of our faces have ever lit up seeing the tyrant of the house. Hehe.

Light a candle for me and pray he recovers from his illness.

Tinto in 2007

2007-01-09T12:22:00.000-11:00

Mental crisis

2006-12-29T11:08:00.000-11:00

My new favorite song is Yellow by Coldplay. Everytime I listen to it I am far far away. I'm driving on an empty road on a dreary day. I'm jumping off a cliff and floating weightlessly in the sky. I'm lying in a grassy meadow with nothing but grass around me and the sun peeping out in the cloudy day. I'm drawing circles in the clouds. I am lying face-down in the snow feeling my face burn from the icy cold snow. I am anywhere but here.

Airena. Wake up. You're not driving on the highway with the top pulled down and your hair blowing with the wind. Stop it.

I'm still in the office and everybody is in the management meeting and little Miss Moffet is listening to Coldplay on broken headphones. And I'm depressed. What's new? I revel in depression. It's sunny outside and I hate it. Give me a cold cloudy rainy day and me in bed contemplating my life while picking out the dirt from my fingernails with a butter knife. A tear trickles down my face as I feel sorry for myself. I turn it wipe my face with the curtain. "And it was all yellow". Depression sets in snugly. And I'm happy.

I wonder where the nearest rehab is?

This guy is here again. He was our crusty Santa in the office and we hired him for a few days and paid him $60. He's claiming we haven't paid him for one day (and he's right but I'm going to say it was Finance's fault). Now he's coming for his money and the Finance people are in the meeting and I'm like "Fock off". I've written up a sign "Do Not Disturb. Am Depressed."

I was gonna take the rest of today off. Just found out we have pre New Year drinks at the office at 2. Cancel loa le day off. Nothing like some alcohol to cure my mental state.

HAPPY NEW YEAR MY FRIENDS! Have a good one. I will damn well make sure I do.

The fear of inadequacy

2006-12-19T12:43:00.000-11:00

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. A load of hogwash. I don't fear inadequacy. I am inadequate. I look at people who are out there, achieving their goals, aiming high and being the best they can be and I am jealous. Why am I not up there with the stars? The little voice in my head retorts "Who are you, muli pu?" Yes who am I? Who am I to be brilliant, fabulous, gorgeous and talented? I am none of these and therefore should remain in my little inconspicuous corner of the world. May I emphasize here that I am not feeling sorry for myself, nor do I want your pity. Such is the way of the world. There are winners and there are losers, and then there are the win-some-lose-some-need-some in between. And that's me. The one who never quite made it ~~but eventually will, you motherfuckers~~. Hoh.

What brought about my little pitiful tirade? My working environment. How everybody is moving forward. How people I thought I was ahead of are now ahead of me. Haha. How I am still stuck doing a job where my brain is utilized 10% of the time. How I still haven't found my niche. How I've come to realize that perhaps marketing is not for me. How I don't like being treated like a doormat. How I can't seem to stand up for myself and say NO ~~to alcohol~~. How I thrive on being left alone. How I regret not going for that management position interview and then knowing that I could've done better than the person who got it. How I am whiner.

God. I need to take a break and smell the fresh paint. And get high. And fix up my 5-year plan which has dragged to 20. And maybe join St Vincent de Paul and stop thinking about myself and think of the poor people in the world who are not as fortunate. What a selfish shit I am.

How's this post for Christmas cheer?? Ho ho ho and a bottle of bitterness.

I'm back

2006-11-27T10:00:00.000-11:00

Writer's block. It's been keeping me away from blog for a raaather long toyme. That and work. And parties. Sigh. Oh the parties. And Tinto's birthday. Sigh. The family dramas at the birthday.
So now I'm back. Miss me? Here's a recap on the major events:

Tinto's Birthday. She turned 1 on 18 November 2006. Her daddy planned and organized the entire day because I was busy with work. Let the so-called head of the family do something right for once. He organized a bbq birthday to start at 2 in the afternoon and all his family was invited...and my mother. One of his sisters was being a pain in the arse the whole time, and went so far as to cut Tinto's cake. Talk about usurping my damned right! That and the burnt bbq aside, it was a lovely little get together and Tinto was happy being the centre of attention (as usual) and getting a ton of lovely presents, lucky girl.

Work. It's been busy. Our company has officially launched in the Samoan market, and we're in a tizzy trying to get as many clients as possible before SamoaTel launch their GSM in January. I'm loving the fast pace, compared to the stagnating company I was with before. It's been an overwhelming learning experience for me, and I am loving every moment of it. Of course it has its ups and downs, but what working environment doesn't?

The parties. The people at work are dedicated to making things happen, and at the end of the day, seek reward at Bora Bora. That's where we've been almost every Friday. Or the Lounge or Paddles. It's great. Not only do I see these people all throughout the day, but also socially. What's not to love?! Lol. Nothing like a few glasses to bring everyone on the same level.

My current favorite. Song - Irreplaceable (Beyonce). Food - Vaea's Takeaway (hoh!). Movie - Casino Royale. Toy - Tinto's 4-key piano. Drink - still red label. Phone - Motorola Pebl U6.

And that is me and moy life.

Baby deaths, birthdays, and stressful fecking work

2006-10-27T12:59:00.000-11:00

I was reading in the paper a few days ago (yes I read, contrary to your imaginings) about a man who ran over his daughter last July. I don't know why I'm writing about it when I was horrified at what I read and threw away the paper. I just feel very depressed about someone running over their own child. The man and his family went to Fasitoo. When they arrived there, his 22 month old daughter wanted a cream bun so he got back in his car, and reversed to go to the shop. He thought he reversed over some rocks, when in actual fact, he had RUN OVER HIS DAUGHTER who had followed him to the car. The baby girl was still breathing but later died of head and chest injuries. Oh God, I almost cried when I read it. I immediately thought of Tinto. If that had been Chee running her over, I would have died. I wonder what that father must have been going through. Killing his baby girl by accident. He was charged for involuntary manslaughter and the judge let him off, reason being that his grief and sorrow of what he had done would be his punishment.

Always watch out for your children when you're driving. Watch out for ANY children. You never know what might happen. It sounds so corny and stupid, but it's fucking IMPORTANT dammit.

In other happier news, it was my birthday on Wednesday. I'm officially 25!! Yippee! As soon as I got into work, people were shouting "Happy Birthday!" thanks to Henry and the grapevine. Hehe. My friend sent me flowers. Such a pulili teu. I got off work at 7, and went home to have dinner (cooked by moy huspand) and then tucked into a bottle of red label. Needless to say I got stinking drunk, went to bed at 4am and got into work at 10am the next morning with a massive hangover. What a lovely birthday!

Workwise, I am busy as heck. Our company launches very soon and we're short for time. Everyone is stressed out and people are on the verge of nervous breakdowns and taking out their shit on other poor souls, but I am still alive ~~and still getting paid~~, and that's about all that matters to me right now. Can't wait for it to be over and done with, so I can leave work at a reasonable hour and see Tinto before she goes to sleep.

Speeding to your death

2006-10-18T14:31:00.000-11:00

What is it with people and speeding?! In the space of 2 weeks, we have had 2 horrific car deaths in Apia.

Car Death 1
3 men were walking alongside the road at Moataa to the nearby shop to buy something. At the same time, 2 cars were speeding down the road, one attempted to over take the other, while a car was approaching from the opposite direction. The car swerved and hit one of the 3 men walking on the side of the road. The impact sent him flying straight into an electric pole where almost his entire body was smashed in and his arm severed. His friend in a split second, jumped into a nearby hedge to avoid being hit. The other guy had minor injuries.

Car Death 2
Last Saturday, a man from Kiribati was hit by THREE speeding vehicles as he attempted to cross the road in front of Bad Billy’s. The first car knocked him down and as he tried to stand up, the second car mowed him down and the third almost flattened him.

I can’t recall deaths of this nature happening before. There have been plenty of car crashes where people have died or been seriously injured, but a car to mow down a person…or three at that…that’s a different story. The nightclubs have closed down and police report less deaths, general crime and drunken unruly behavior. So these drivers weren’t drunk then? A car would have to be traveling at a very fast pace to make such an impact, and on Beach Road too.

There was a letter in the paper today written by the mother of the driver who hit the Kiribati man. She said “…in the heart-wrenching situation we were in that very night, watching our good natured child being locked up because someone who has been drinking all evening at a nightclub and then made a wrong decision of running across the road…” Oh give me a fucking break. Fine, make your excuses for your 16 year-old son. But the truth of the matter is that your son killed somebody. Your son was driving at an excessively fast pace, and ran somebody over. One of the first rules a driver learns is to be aware of pedestrians. The issue is not whether the man killed was drinking all night. The issue is whether your speeding under aged driver son was driving recklessly and caused the death of this unsuspecting poor man who went to have a good night out.

For God’s sakes people, SLOW the fuck DOWN. People’s lives are at risk the moment you press down harder on that accelerator and pass 40mph. In fact, the speed limit in town is 25mph. I drive at 30mph on average. Speeding down Beach Road which is one of the busiest roads in town, is just not on. That right is reserved only for ambulances, fire brigades, police (and the Police Commissioner at 2am), cabinet ministers and the PM rushing to Scoops for an ice cream. Certainly not the child of 2 prominent CEOs in government. Oh God don't get me started on that. Get me off my pet horse now. Stop talking crap on the powers that be! And don't speed, dammit!

Updating the dramas

2006-10-03T12:32:00.000-11:00

Just a wee stop to say heeelllowww to everybody who's tired of clicking on these dramas...and seeing NO DRAMAS. Hoh. Stob your Mary J Blige. It's been what, a whole 3 weeks since I last (I almost said "confessed" but airena, it's been waaaay longer since I was co it to the priest) posted. Since then, I've left my old job, started a new one and held two different positions since.

SO. Last week Monday I attended training for Customer Care. It was fun. Met a load of new people, and laugh inwardly at all the ki-ness, fob-ness and general stupido-ness. For instance,

"Hi everypody. This is my friend ______. She was single for the minko and ready to married. But she has one paypee poy and the father is left for Iraq in the war for ten years."

"Can you exblain it how the edugational sponsor was offer in the gompany?"

"Hi this is ______. Welcome to Tititel. How gan I asis you?"

"When I was work for my old gompany, I have lot of male customer and they ask me for my number and a drink after work."

Uh huh. That's just a small measure of the general ditziness that went on in training. Apart from that, it was great. Learnt a lot about mobile technology and how it is taking over the world!! Gee Brain, What are we doing tonoyte? Lol.

On Friday of my first week at training, I was offered a job in the Marketing division of the company and I was thrilled!!!!!!!!!! So here I am. Busy little bee. Ia ua lelei Akeelah.

The dream of leaving

2006-09-20T14:25:00.000-11:00

I'm crying as I type this. The tears can no longer be suppressed. The anguish is tearing me apart. It saddens my heart immensely to think that in two days time, I will be gone from this beloved place. This place where I have had so many delightful memories. No longer shall I come in to work and be asked immediately whether I have bought the daily newspaper. No longer will I see the frowns and mumbles in my direction when I say "Good morning!" in a chirpy, cheery voice. No more will I be given 10 page contracts to be typed up because there are no soft copies thereby giving me the most challenging piece of work for the day. No longer will I be exploited and abused beyond the borders of my job description. But! Let me not seek to satisfy my thirst for freedom from this job by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. I must forever conduct my struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. I have been a veteran of creative suffering. I will continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of Mount Fiamoe. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of Vaea. Let freedom ring from Samoatel, to Samoa Realty, to Digicel and right up to the Government Building. Let freedom ring in the offices of Polynesian Airlines. And on Friday at 4:30 I can lift my hands up and say "Free at last!" Thank God Almighty, I am free at last!!!!!!

Hahahahaha. Stob your Martin Luther Aloaina.

So really. Hip! Hip! HOORAY! I'm looking forward to my new job like Tinto looks forward to eating. I can't wait to start learning all this riff raff about GSMs and mobile phones and putting Samoa at the cutting edge of wireless technology and offering customers affordable and innovative phones. Pulili! My job is a menial one and a lot of people I've heard who've got the same job are not exactly what I would call 'intellectuals'. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being patronising or looking down on anybody, but I feel that I am errr smarter and can achieve more. Shat, that does sound condescending and fia know-it-all. All I know is I am going to work my fat arse off to move up, up and away! Away from the average salary and the ki-ness. Lovely!

Okay, enough with the dreaming. Back to work...and crossword puzzles. Sita pugi!

The Downfall of a Beauty Queen & the Uprising of a Sore Loser

2006-09-18T12:13:00.000-11:00

Last Friday, a ceremony was held at Le Papaigalagala to officially hand over the Miss Teuila Crown. After 6 days of reigning as Miss Teuila, Pearl McFall has had to relinquish her crown.

After the pageant, the Miss Samoa NZ Josefina Sapolu was not a ~~beautiful~~ happy person. In fact, she was a vengeful one. Her only prize was Miss Personality. Big fucking deal. Those should be handed out to people like me. She thought she should've won the interview category. Some say yep, she should have. Her mistake was answering her question, and while the crowd was cheering in appreciation of her answer, she said "Shhh! I'm not finished!" in a tone which made every mother in the house want to drag her off the stage by her hair and give her a black eye. The word is "humility" my dear. Have a cup of it. No, have a fucking gallon. Who knows, she may be a sweet, nice girl, but the image we had was of someone who thought she was a big shot just because she's a lawyer. At least the ugly lawyers know better than to enter beauty pageants. In her vengefulness, she, with the aid of her lawyer mother, investigated the background of poor Pearl McFall and found a glitch. Pearl was 17!!! Can you imagine Josie's feeling of elation, of smugness, of vengeful joy that she would bring Pearl to her downfall. It felt like winning a lawsuit! I can hear the cackles now.

So Pearl entered the pageant at 17, when the age limit for entrance is 18. She would turn 18 only at the end of September. Josie pie and her mother brought this before the Teuila committee and the Observer. They threatened to take the matter to court, and put their mean, sore losing hearts at rest. If she wasn't going to win, or gain any placing for that matter, then neither would Pearl.

The result was the Friday ceremony. Pearl made a speech apologizing for her actions. She relinquished her crown graciously and with dignity. She was a queen of our hearts, if not of the Miss Teuila. The entire nation felt for her and her plight, and what one sour grape did to get revenge.

But wait. If Pearl was 17, then she knew she was lying to enter the pageant. Or she was coerced by her organizing committee into doing it, knowing that nobody would find out, unless they happened to have lost and were grasping at straws just to get her down. We don't really know what happened. Being underage by a few days means nothing to us. What bears weight is that she outshone her fellow competitors and won that crown rightfully. To hell with the losers. Go watch Gridiron Gang and found out how to be a winner, fools.

Pearly girl, just do your thing. Achieve your goals, get that scholarship and prove yourself right. Leave the crown to the likes of AIDs awareness ignoramuses...and what else?

Moving on with the dramas

2006-09-11T14:00:00.000-11:00

My apologies to my readers (yes all 4 of you) for my absence of late. I've been in a flurry of work, flu, and acquiring a new job. YES...I have exorcised the demons, and found me a new job. Goodbye Polynesian Airlines, hello new mobile telephone company. No names, hear. I'm trying to be more anonymous, so that I'm not called in by my boss who's found my blog, and God forbid, READ IT. Heh.

I was spurred on to apply for this particular job when last week, 2 of my work colleagues were fired from the company and they asked me, the sexytary to help write their cvs. I thought, hell, why not apply myself. So I sent it in on Wednesday. On Thursday I got a call for an interview on Friday. Yeah go on and spoil the rest of my Thursday. You know me and interviews react viciously. I was freaked out, worrying about stumbling through it and making a fool of my family's good name and my semi-tarnished one, like last time. We won't go there. I was invited to the Avele Ball on Thursday night, and free drinks would usually get me up and running carefree into the night. Oh airena. I stayed at home to prep myself, and memorize my prospective company's mission statement. On Friday, I smoked a whole pack of ciggies before 11. The interview was done by 2 Jamaican ladies. They were nice. I wasn't as scared shitless as I was with the previous interview with a panel of seven. The questions were lovely and straight-forward. My mind was flowing with information. I was on top of my game. Stob moy mimika. It was only for a menial job anyway, not like it was the fecking CEO or anything. That afternoon, they called back wanting a verbal reference from a previous boss. I immediately referred them to my old Customer Services & Marketing boss. She, of course, gave a brilliant reference, nailing the job for me. Sigh. I was on a high all weekend.

My dustpan of a huspand is still in New Zealand, and gets in this Wednesday. I'm looking forward to getting all the stuff I ordered. If he doesn't bring all the stipulated items on moy list, I will kick his arse all the way back to Etelani to get them. Hehe. But really...excited to have the abble of moy oye back safe and sound. My rock. My loyfe. My bank. Yes, I am broken to the high heavens, despite trying to manage my finances for 2 weeks. I've forgotten what it was like to be single and living under my parents' roof. The days of free living are long gone. Enter phone bills, electricity bills, water bills and 6 people depending on you to pay 'em, while they get the free living.

In other news, the new Miss Teuila 06-07 is Pearl McFall of NUS. She wasn't my pick, but she shone during the pageant. The interviews were disappointing. There were only a few laughs to eke out of them. Here are some excerpts.

1. Which island, out of Upolu and Savaii, do you like better, and why?
Ans: "I like Upolu and Savaii. They have beautiful people, it's just beautiful and yeah, we are all beautiful". Stob your beautiful ki-sos.

2. What do you like about Samoa's environment?
Ans: "The best thing about Samoa's environment is its "feejus" (feautures). It's got a lot of really nice feejus".

Well that's all I can recall right now, because the ki-ness is getting to my brain, or haven't you noticed. Bye it.

A moment to redefine myself

2006-08-29T16:30:00.000-11:00

I've just realized how all my posts of late have been limited to the ~~boring~~ domesticated topics of babysitters, irritating-the-hell-out-of-me husbands, family reunions and sick babies.

God.

Is this what my life has been reduced to? Not that I'm really complaining or anything (aren't you?), but where are the parties, and the drinks, and the friends talking shit about each other and the late nights of fun? Did it just vanish like a flickering light as motherhood dawned?

Aha. The gist of the story reveals itself. You're no longer Shark Girl, young, free and single to mingle in the liquor and smoke and wallow in your own puke while holding onto the toilet bowl for dear life. You are now somebody else's keeper. Nurturer (for Tinto). Watchdog (for the husband). You are now obligated to do other things.

More important things, mind you.

Priorities and obligations have changed my life. I am now wife and mother, queen of husband and fierce defender of baby girl. I am the epitome of woman. [Get a load of this shit...lol] But it doesn't have to change me into a boring, sorry-can't-come-out-with-you, frigid, anti-social twat. No sirree. The epitome of woman must encompass all things.

In other words...

I must balance my life. Make time. Make time dammit. Much as I want to be Phenomenal Woman/Wife/Mother/~~Loser~~ of the year, I must put time aside for me. This means time for my friends and happy hours and smoking sessions on the seawall at 11pm and 2 hour phone calls, and drinks after work and movies with the girls. This doesn't mean ignore all else and start binge drinking. Just once a week, take some time out from Tinto and Husband and Family or be assured of a nervous breakdown before reaching the graceful age of 40.

You're just jealous because Sita went on a 3 day booze cruise. Well....and that too. Haha.

[N.B. This does not make me a bad mother and wife. I am a good mother and loving wife. I reassure myself of this every day, and every day my mother never fails to negate it. Give me a break, if you have kids, you know what the hell I'm talking about. ~~unless you're Tinto's grandmother of course~~.]

Ok. Moment over. Going home now to pack my husband's things, cook dinner and look after Tinto and once again, lose my identity.

Broncho-whaaa?

2006-08-28T14:37:00.000-11:00

I've been the anti-social animal lately because ~~the clubs are closed~~ my Tinto has been sick. I said previously that she had "bronchitis" but AIRENA. It's "bronchiolitis", spelling provided by Google and real name provided by Dr John Adams of MedCen, Vailima. I am enlightened, thank you. It's a virus caused either by an infection or allergy in the chest which causes wheezing, coughing, and inflammation of the bronchioles (branches of airways in the lungs). The virus gets worse before it can get better, so Tinto has been having a nightmare of a week, wheezing like an old woman and becoming frustrated because she can't eat, and if Tinto can't eat, then she may as well keel over and die, because eating is Tinto's life. The doctor laughed when I told him she was losing weight. He said she could afford to lose a few pounds anyway, ae aka le alelo. Very funnay. The good news is, she's on the mend now and slowly reverting to her old talkative albeit temperamental self.

The bad news is, my babysitter didn't turn up for work today. Maua le ova o le aunty le koe sau loa. We found clothes hidden under her mattress - everybody's clothes were under there. Even Tinto's. I asked her about it and she said it was laundry that she'd folded but forgot to distribute to their proper cupboards. Uh huh. So she put them under the bed for what? Safekeeping? I told her I had to check her bags before she left, and I did. Every nook and cranny of her bags. Of course she didn't hide anything in it because I pre-warned her. But now she isn't working, and Chee leaves on Wednesday, so I am stuck babysitter-less and soon to be husband-less. Life couldn't be more grand.

The Samoa Coca Cola Star Search. Last night was the top 6 solo singers vying for the final 4 places. The final top 4 are:

Bronze Pele - has a good solid voice, good choice of music and is good-looking to boot. What's not to like?
Catherine Craig - likes singing Christian music (the lamp of God) and has a strong voice.
Lafitaga Pati Liu - can sing a range of different songs and has a lovely sweet voice
Vavae Koroseta - a.k.a Sulivete Kurene because all he sings are Suliveta songs and it suits him perfectly because his voice is eerily like Suliveta's. He also has a good style and is a bit of a showman with his moves.

I'm going for Bronze. For obvious reasons - he's ~~good looking~~ got a good voice, and I like his style. And he's good looking. Lol.

Going home now. I'm tired, hungry and my bones are aching ~~for a drink~~ for rest.

Anniversaries and smart kiddies

2006-08-23T13:40:00.000-11:00

I haven't had the urge to do some serious blogging lately. I'm so engrossed in Tinto's rainbow world and posting pictures is so much more fun than actual writing and thinking. And, more ~~annoyingly~~ importantly, the beginning of the week has been busy.

Last Wednesday Cheeku and I went out to celebrate our first year anniversary. Oh yes. It's been exactly one year of taking crap from that man. Hehe. It feels like it was just yesterday when I was relcutantly saying my vows and having regrets. We've been through a lot since then and I can honestly say I've loved every moment of it. Even when I felt like walking out, smashing the frying pan over his head, cried my heart out in my room while rocking Tino to sleep, corny as it may sound, but love conquered. Can't wait for 50 more years like it. So anyway, we had drinks at a friend's place. I polished off almost 2 bottles of red wine by moyself. By the time we entered Tropicana I was tripping on Sunset Boulevard and everybody looked like stars to me. The next morning, I was in hell. I couldn't move for fear of my already erupting head. Wine is lovely to drink but a bitch of a hangover. I didn't go to work. I couldn't! I finally woke up and recovered by the time the sun went down that day only to be laughed at by the people at home. Apparently in my drunken stupor, I threw up on the bathroom mats then on my lavalava and then spent the next hour scrubbing the mats clean with a mix of clorox, ajax and pine-o-clean. I'm surprised I didn't black out from the smell of the chemicals. A memorable anniversary alright.

Ever since Tinto was born, we've been planning a trip overseas. We haven't gone on a trip together as a family and so we decided we'd go to Sydney where 3 of Chee's sisters live as well. We planned that after Tinto's first birthday, we would go. So around the end of November, we will be flying down under. I can't wait. This is a much needed break and it'll be nice traveling together and watching Tinto enjoy all the things she doesn't get here - playing in the park, yummy food (oh wait, that's me), clothes shopping not limited to Little Penina, Indoors and Seasons, and just good old family time. Chee's sisters have been emailing to finalise details on our trip and I've managed to coax a friend working for the airline to snag us some free tickets. Whew, what a load taken off our budget. So Sydney, see you in November!

Had an enjoyable dinner at Apaula Heights (where we had our wedding reception) on Saturday night with my brother and my cousins Mose & Susanne from Aussie and their kids Salesi (7), Arona (5) and Penina (3). Cute cute kids. Chee was a little apprehensive about dinner because Susanne is a palagi and he was afraid she would ask him too many questions in English. Haha. I had chicken parmigiana (wasn't too shabby), Chee had rib-eye steak (yum), Mose had surf & turf which is steak and lobster (that was huge and looked delicious), Ilu had thai chicken which he said was worse than Pinati's stir fry and Susanne had a salad (stob yoa palagi appetite). Much to Chee's relief, Susanne was too busy keeping the kids in line and talking to me. Salesi was the one doing the interviewing. For a seven-year old, he is a smart kid. He wanted to know what a decade meant.

"Dad, what's a decade?"
"Well son, what's a century"
"100 years"
"A decade is also a measure of years."
"Like a jubilee?"
"Yes son, like a jubilee. A decade is one tenths of a century."
"So a decade is ten years?"
"Yes Salesi."
"Cool! So I'm seven tenths of a decade!"

I thought I'd collapse from amazement. A 7 year old knowing that. I bet I didn't know any of that until I was like...at university. Lol. Chee was amazed too. He kept wanting to know if he was really 7. Just because the 7 year old at Malie is still on his abc's, doesn't mean other kids are the same. Hehe.

Tinto is sick with pneumonia, as you might've read on her blog. She's got a terrible cough and just won't get better. I'm taking her to see Dr Adams in a few minutes. The babysitter and my sister-in-law at home claim it's "ila" and it is imperative that she is taken for a fofo. That's stuff's all mumbo jumbo to me, and I prefer a doctor's diagnosis to some traditional ~~unhygienic~~ healer who sprinkles some leaves in my Tinto's mouth.

Talofa Polynesian Airlines, did your momma teach you any manners?

2006-08-18T15:03:00.000-11:00

Our receptionist at work is "sick", but it must be an illness which doesn't require bedrest because I saw her riding around in her car. Because our company is determined to cut costs as much as possible, to avoid more public questioning on where that 5 million allocated by government to the airline has vanished to, we are under-staffed. We are left doing jobs usually done by 3 other people. Now I have to drop all my ~~blogging~~ work and answer the phones for the day.

God knows how these receptionists/operators survive answering people's queries and handling their shit all day. I developed a headache by 8:30, and have already had one person complain to our CEO about that bitch answering the phones. Tough.

Here are a few cases I had to deal with today.

Case 1

Caller: O fea lea?
Me: Polynesian Airlines
Caller: O ai lea?
Why the F does it matter?
Me: O -----
Caller: O oe lea ga e vili mai i la'u kelefogi?
There are over 50 lines in the office and she's asking if I called?
Me: Leai e le o a'u
Beep beep beep.
The ~~fucker~~ nice lady just hung up on me.

Case 2
Caller: Look I've called 3 times now and you keep hanging up on me. I want the ticket office.
Me: I'm sorry but each time you've called I've transferred you to the ticket office. Did you happen to hear any music in the background, just so I know if the transfer function is working.
Caller: (snappily) No I didn't fucking hear any goddamn music!
Me, very taken aback.
Me: Well with manners like that, it's no bloody wonder you didn't get through!
Caller: What! What did you say?
Me: I said I'll put you through.
I hung up.
Bitch.

Case 3

Caller: Reservations
Me: Sorry?
Caller: Reservations
Me: What about it?
Caller: Put me there
Me: Where?
Caller: Reservations
Me: Reservations?
Caller: Do you understand English? [in a fobby accent from Patamea, Savaii] I said put me to the Reservations.
Me: Please
Caller: What?
Me: Put me to Reservations, PLEASE
Silence.
Caller: Please
Me: Thank you
See. That wasn't so hard now, was it?

Case 4

Caller: O ai lea?
Oh God, not again.
Me: O -----
Caller: O lea ou ke fia kalagoa ia Fata.
So why did you ask me what my name was?
Me: Fata? E leai seisi faapena i le matou kamupani.
Caller: Se Fata Tielu, le kou CEO
Me: Oi. You mean Taua Fatu Tielu?
Get it right. You're rudely asking for a man who's in a position higher than your pea-sized brain can ever dream of getting to.
Caller: [impatiently] Ia ga.
Me: O ai la lea e saunoa faamolemole?
Caller: Fai iai o Josephine o le SBC.
After a minute of silence (while I continued my bubble game) I picked up the phone and said "Sorry o la e fai lana fono. E iai se feau e fia tau iai?"
Josephine: Eh. Leai.
Abruptly hangs up the phone.

Now do you see what I mean by rude? If any of these people was nice over the phone, I would be more than accommodating. But no. They had to be obnoxious, abrupt, downright rude and snappy. The only results you get with that kind of attitude is no result at all. Nobody should be subjected to this kind of shit.

On a happier note, there were a lot of people who were nice and polite. Thank you for keeping me sane today, and stifling the urge to go over to SBC for an elephant tussle. Hoh!

And where you gum from?

2006-08-15T11:53:00.000-11:00

I went to church with the American crew at home. They're all Mormons; they don't drink, smoke, cuss, and drink postum and koko Samoa all day long. How they survive is beyond me.

After church, we stood outside to wait for the car, because walking home (50 metres away) was unimaginable. I overheard Chee's niece, Chaffee (from California-ay) being interviewed by one of the Malie curls from the crib, no school before.

Malie Curl (heavy fob accent): "So you been inside here long dime?"

Chaffee: "No only 2 weeks."

Malie Curl: "Malie is good village for you?"

Chaffee: "Errr yes. It's a great village."

Malie Curl: "Where you gum from?"

Chafee: "I'm from Long Beach, California"

Malie Curl (excitedly): "That's good! My gousin is in there too! He gum from Long Bitch."

I wanted to roll all over the Mormon basketball court laughing my fat arse off.

Long Bitch.

Ahahahahahaha.

Then & Now

2006-08-08T14:39:00.000-11:00

10 Years Ago: I was 14 years old, and in Form 4. Interested only in playing kuli and lape at school, attending Catechism class with Dani so we could have a good laugh after school, and listening to Rick Dees Weekly Top 40 and listing down every single song and taping them on my 120 min tapes. This was the year I lost the key to our mailbox, lied about it to my parents and then got a hiding and threats of never ever going to school again. I came 4th in class that year, the best I've ever done in high school. On my birthday, we pretended that we were going to film a movie for our english project. Instead we went to the movies and saw "Fargo" which at the time looked bloody stupid and dirty, then took a taxi to Papaseea. There were 6 of us but we didn't have enough money for 2 cabs, so 2 of us sat in the boot. The cab couldn't make it all the way to the top of the hill so we walked the rest of the way, swam, walked back down to Dina's house and asked her mom to take us home. Our parents never suspected a thing.

Five Years Ago: I was back in Samoa after failing miserably from uni in Auckland due to lack of motivation and the temptation of watching Days of Our Lives every day rather than going to class. I was attending N.U.S where I hated myself, was ashamed for me and my parents and what people were saying. I failed again in first semester coz I was too damned lazy and in a state of denial, got my shit together during the break and got a scholarship in second semester to Japan. At the time, I'd picked up smoking and the occasional drink. I went out for a week with some fobby guy from N.U.S until he wanted to show me his dick. I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours? I don't think so. I wasn't ready for an anatomy tour and stuck a cigarette in his pants. I remember his howls vividly. His friends rushed him to the hospital. He hasn't talked to me since.

One Year Ago: I was pregnant, unmarried and being a burden to my poor parents. I was preparing for my wedding, stressing out, and cancelling it every other day. I hated my dress, my fat body, and just my whole pregnant state. I was such a resentful bitch. I would cry over every little thing and the hormonal imbalance was driving myself and everybody else crazy. I'm surprised Cheeku still went along with the whole thing. I craved tequila and white Russians, but the moment I'd catch a whiff of it, I'd vomit. All of a sudden I was married, and I had Tinto and was living in Malie. I didn't know whether to be happy or cry my eyes out.

Yesterday: Stayed in the office the entire day. I actually had work (and blogging) to do. Won 2 boxes of saimigi and a bar of laundry soap from our office soccer raffle. Woot woot! Had dinner at Millenia with Chee's cousin Emma who left last night for L.A. I had oka, sashimi, lots of coke and chicken, mushroom and bacon pasta. Had to unbutton my pants afterwards to let my stomach out. So full. Tinto got $50 from her Aunty Emma which she again clutched in her fist and wouldn't let go of.

Five Songs I Know All The Words To:

1. Here With Me - Dido
2. Photograph - Nickelback
3. Bette Davis' Eyes - Kim Carnes
4. Changes - Tupac
5. Manatu - Te Vaka

Five Snacks:

1. Almond Snickers
2. Grainwaves
3. Ulu Chips
4. Mom's Chocolate Chip Cookies.
5. Corn Pops

Five Things I'd Do With $100 Million:

1. Buy my Dad a Toyota Prado (or 10), which he's wanted for ages
2. Set up a trust fund for Tinto.
3. Build a house at the land at Apia Park for Tinto & I. Chee can stay at Malie and good riddance to the damn place.
4. Give $1 mil to each of my good friends. Stob yoa philanthropy! Lol.
5. Quit my job and go on a year-long cruise. Ae fo'i mai ua broken faasoloado.

Five Places I'd Run Away To:

1. Siusega
2. Oita, Japan
3. Queenstown, NZ
4. London, UK
5. Rome, Italy

Five Things I'd Never Wear:

1. Tights
2. Whore-Red Lipstick
3. Men's underwear
4. A paperbag over my head
5. Manolos

Five Favorite TV Shows:

1. William & Mary
2. CSI
3. Smallville
4. Shortland St
5. Ata Pupuu

Five Greatest Joys:

1. My Tinto
2. My husband and family.
3. That first puff of smoke after a week of abstinence.
4. Reading.
5. Fresh, clean, white sheets

Five Favorite Toys:

1. Digital camera
2. Flash drive
3. PS2
4. Holden Commodore
5. Cell phone

*survey borrowed from Coffee Banter. Fank it.*

Reunited

2006-08-07T15:05:00.000-11:00

The happy Reunion has come to a close. If you happened to hear shouts of "Hallelujah!" while driving through Malie on Sunday evening, that may well have been me. It was lovely, but dragged on and on and thought I might put a blade to my wrist if I had to look at those people one more time.

It started on Friday evening with a lotu and the gathering of all Chu Lings and their families and tears Aggie Grey all around. The children of Sione Chu Ling were dressed in their uniform (material courtesy of Frankie's weekly special). Tinto outshone everybody in her pretty little dress. After the lotu was introduction time. Everybody had their funny comments to make about themselves and their family members. One guy introduced himself and said he had 6 children. His wife then introduced herself and said they only have 4 kids and doesn't know where the other 2 come from. The guy genuinely looked sprung. He clapped his hand over his mouth and looked guiltily at his wife. Lol...kei a i le maua'd. When it was our turn, Cheeku introduced himself and then turned to me and said "Ia o lo'u baby makua lea (me) a o lo'u baby laikiki lea (Tinto)." Vaai i le kalie o kagaka. Then it was time to kala the gafa and explain the genealogy of the family. Cheeku's cousin who was doing the explaining is from America and kau le lelei kele le faasamoa. She said "O Cheeku, oso ia Nydia, maua ai Tautinoga." Omg I wanted to crawl under the table cloth. "Usu" you bloody fool.

Saturday was Aleisa day. Tinto & I stayed home, reason being that there are too many mosquitos and Tinto would be eaten alive. It worked! Chee told us to stay. Airena lalaga fala and mailo, fank it. E damage uma ai ou acrylics. We spent the day driving around town shopping. In the evening we took some of the au malaga to Tropicana. It was packed, with people you wouldn't normally see there. People who swore they would never set foot in the place. Can't look down on it now, can you?

Sunday was more of the same. Church, talk and eat.

Tinto was the star of the show, being carried by everybody. It's like people in America have never seen a baby before. They were delighted with all her antics - her gummy smile with one tiny tooth peeping out, her loomakua giggle and her hitting everybody in the face. She was delighted too...ua mimika ai lava si ou kama. At one point she came back clutching a 20 dollar bill, a present from one of her uncles. Her father tried to pry it out of her fingers and she screamed and cried until he put it back. Then she was happy again. Fefe e, pe makaikupe ea, e soo uma lava i loga kama.

And so our normal routine begins once again.

Clubs closed

2006-08-07T09:44:00.000-11:00

Nightclubs in town are closed until further notice. The Liquor Board has banned Crabbers, Bad Billy's, Blue Lagoon, Lighthouse, Paddles and RSA from opening for business. Reasons are that these clubs aren't closing at 12AM as they are supposed to, and the village of Apia has sent a formal complaint to the Board because of noise pollution and brawls happening at their doorsteps.

The only clubs open now are Tropicana and Seana, and bars such as Bora Bora, JT's and Valentine's. Thank goodness BB is still open so we don't all go insane, or go to the seawall instead...or to Seana, God forbid!

Look on the bright side. We can wake up earlier on Sundays and make it to church on time, and not sleep halfway through the sermon, or wear dark glasses to hide bloodshot eyes all throughout the service.

I have a sneaky feeling Fotu's departure has something to do with all of this :)

The new look

2006-08-03T13:50:00.000-11:00

As you may have noticed, I have changed my blog look only a few hundred times. I can't decide which template suits me best, and with every mood swing, my blog is changed. I quite like this one. It fits all the things I want to include in my blog. Which is nothing really. I found an excellent template, but the darn code was in Sri Lankan or something and I couldn't tweak a thing. So fank it Templates.com for the simple but cool temps.

Just had a teensy argument with my [in]significant other. I had new cushion covers done for the sofa set at home. That's 10 cushions and 4 throw pillows, plus material. It cost $90. I also bought a high chair for Tinto which cost $145. I told my hubby we need to pay it today. He said it was fine. Now when I remind him about it, he gets all up in a huff complaining about the cost and that we don't have enough money ra ra ra. I knew the fucker wasn't listening to me when I told him the first time. So I told him FINE. We'll return the high chair. Deny Tinto the things she should have. At least we still have lovely cushion covers so that his family members' asses will be comfortable and clean sitting on the sofa.

Still fuming about the high chair. Sigh.

If you're in Samoa, you'll probably have heard of Vaniah Toloa and his new cd "Tukua". I've discovered that every time I switch channels, I will hear one of his songs on at least 1 radio station. Just as when Zipso and Mr T were new to the music scene, you'd hear Fika Mai Le Pese 30 times a day. There's a great song called "Tukua" sung by Vaniah and his sister Jewel. It's Tokelauan, and about missing their homeland. As someone said, if you miss it, then why don't you bloody well go back instead of singing to us about it? Lol. The cd is a mix of Samoan rap and Tokelauan traditional music. Not that I have a cd, but thank you cd burner!
[Disclaimer: I'm not talking about Vaniah because of any errr relations I may have had with him in the past. He just sings nice songs which will eventually be drowned out by the next rising up-and-coming musician. Fank it.]

The Chu Ling Reunion draws ever nearer. In fact, it begins tomorrow. We now have 30-odd people living at home. It's a lot of noise, laundry, dishes, energy to stir a pot of soup the size of a mini-van, toilet paper depletion, and late nights. On the good side, it's also a lot of chocolates, clothes for Tinto and the other kiddies, rental cars to sneak off in, Tinto babysitters and American dollars. Hoh! Tomorrow will be dinner at Malie for every offspring of the old man Chu Ling. We even have a uniform and yes, Tinto gets one too. Everyone will be formally introduced to one another. On Saturday everybody goes to the Chu Ling land at Aleisa for a day of fun-filled activities - weaving mats, hats, making umus, climbing coconut trees, husking coconuts and getting bitten by mosquitos and the odd grass snake lurking in the bushes. Not exactly my cup of tea, so I'll be staying home to mind the house. On Sunday is church.

Guess what's playing on the radio?

Farewells and hellos

2006-07-25T15:37:00.000-11:00

Last night, my good friend Miz Fotu Franisha left our isles for a place where the beaches are picturesque, the sand sparkly white, where the people say "ehh brah, howzit? you like go swim?", surfing is the main sport, and everybody goes shopping at Ala Moana, and the kanaka maoli (natives) are fighting to get back their land sold to the Europeans for resorts and private use years and years ago. Yes, the 50th state of the USA, Hawaii.

We miss you heaps already, Fawdu! Tinto and her momma are sorry they couldn't say goodbye to you. Someday very soon, we'll meet again (and you can babysit some more). Heehee. Good luck with your endeavours for the next year, sweety. The divas will be waiting ever so impatiently for your return so we can revisit Bora Bora and Uncle Lyle. Love and prayers from your family at Malie.

And...a big welcome to the newest member of the Netzler family, GIAN THOR NETZLER, son of Ronald & Shantel. Welcome to the world, baby boy! Congratulations guys!! He is a beautiful baby boy. May he bring much joy into your lives, and remember to treasure the moments, even if it gets tough sometimes (and believe me, it does!). Hugs & kisses from Tinto!!

Bye bye bebe-sida

2006-07-25T15:19:00.000-11:00

We let go of our babysitter yesterday. I feel like shit doing it, but it has to be done. We’ve had her for 4 months. She was great in the beginning. Yep, it’s always roses at the start. They’re always smiling and happy and eager to please you. And then when they get comfortable, they start showing their true colors.

We told her that we would like her to stay during weekends for 2 weeks, and then she goes home the next weekend. She was fine with that, agreeing with whatever we wanted. After a while, she began telling us she had to go home on this weekend or that weekend because of family commitments. The oldest excuse in the book. We weren’t happy, but heck, it’s family so why should we stop her. I also wanted to give her space to do what she wanted. My hubby was adamantly against it, and said she should follow what she promised us. I coaxed him to allow her to go, being the pushover I am. Then one weekend she had to go for a funeral. On Monday the following week, she returned and told us she had to take the whole week off because a high chief in her cousin’s village had died. The story sounded ridiculous. Why should she take a week off for her cousin’s village’s matai’s funeral? She might as well take the week off for every person who dies in the Middle East crisis. Did she even know him? We let her go anyway. She also borrowed money from us for the funeral. The week she was supposed to return, she didn’t show up. She returned the following week, all smiles. She said the funeral had been postponed which was why she had an extra week off. If this had been any other employee, she would have been fired. Out, damn spot! But for Tinto's sake, we didn't do anything.

One weekend, when she had gone home, I was cleaning out Tinto’s closet. There were clothes missing. A lot of clothes! New ones which were too big for Tinto or ones I was saving for special occasions. All gone. I searched every nook and cranny of the room for them, but nada. There is no one else who has access to our room other than the babysitter. We don’t search her bags when she leaves. I keep forgetting to show her one of the many search warrants I keep in my purse for things just like this. By the time she returned to work, I’d forgotten about it and never asked her.

She told us she was separated from her husband. Her children were spread far and wide over Upolu and Savaii and Namua, looked after by her cousin or aunty or neighbor or some random family like that matai. After the 2 weeks disappearing act for the matai’s funeral, we found out that it wasn’t in fact her cousin’s village which she kept going to. It was her husband’s. And that dead matai was her husband’s father. Ah, the pieces fall into place. Why all the lies?

She started getting very moody and temperamental. A lot of the time she had a huge frown on her face and when I spoke to her, she wouldn’t answer. When I told her we would be going out in the evening, and could she take care of Tinto, she put on an air of martyrdom. I couldn’t care less at the time. I was paying her damned wages, so she should do her bloody job. I didn’t want to tell her off and have her mistreat Tinto as a way of getting back at me. God, the blackmail. I would tell her to clean up the house, and she gave me an I’m-too-good-for-this-shit look. Eventually, I stopped asking her to do anything altogether.

I had it up to my ears with her. I couldn’t tell her to do anything, had to practically go on my hands and knees to make her happy and put a smile on her face. Well no more groveling. It was time to kick her out and find someone worth our money.

So we did. We let her go, even though I was having second thoughts and almost talked Chee into letting her stay. God, I feel like such a doormat sometimes. Anyway, enough of my failings, let’s talk about the bloody babysitter. Chee did all the talking and I sat as inconspicuously as possible in the corner. She was smiling from ear to ear until the bomb dropped. Then she put on her (to borrow Tia’s phrase) “What a fuck bitch?!” look. It wasn’t nice, I tell ya. She cried and said if she had known she would’ve gone on Saturday and not come back. Yes it was unfair of us to bring her back on Monday only to fire her, but Chee’s been postponing it far too long. His bloody fault, not mine.

She didn’t speak to me all evening. I gave her Tinto to hold (for old times sake…lol) and 5 mins later, she practically threw her on the bed and left her there. That’s when my bitch streak surfaced. I ignored her, and when we left for work this morning, Chee was being Mr Nice Guy asking her if she wanted a lift. I told him loudly to just leave the bitch and get in the car. Later I heard she stayed behind and told my sister in law stories about me and shit that I said. All fabricated of course. Heh.

At least she’s out of my hair now. Although I feel so bad for her, just kicking her out like that even if she was in the wrong, it’s hard for someone to lose a job. God forbid I ever have to fire anyone else in my lifetime. I'd have a nervous breakdown.

One big habby family

2006-07-17T09:48:00.000-11:00

My husband's family is having a reunion from the 4th - 8th August. The Chu Ling family reunion. I'm looking forward to it like a dog looks forward to starvation. Hope I'm working late that weekend. Something better come up!

There are 30 people coming from Americana. Lovely. They'll be staying at Malie, bringing a grand total of 40 people living in one house. Just your average-sized Samoan family. Also a few others from Australia and New Zealand. Thank God they have brains and will be staying at hotels.

The Chu Lings in Samoa had a family gathering last night at Malie - the family house. Because we are more or less junior members (and I'm only an in-law...airena nofotane), we had no say. The older bags decided everyone should do this, this and this. No questions asked. And because we are unfortunate enough to be the ones living in Malie, we have to do most of the work.

Clean the house - the windows (which aren't already broken by the kids crashing into them), the floor which is as sticky like syrup which has been squirted on the floor and left there for a week...
Repaint the walls - because it's so much easier than scrubbing them, and removing dirty footprints, handprints, dried mucus and saliva, food stains and cockroach fossils. This is of course everywhere except my room. My room is pristine. Hoh!
Change the linoleum carpet - the current one which was laid out 2 years ago is now torn, edges flapping with every breeze, dilapidated-looking and dirty.
Fix the kitchen sink - It's about to collapse through the counter down to the floor. The result of bad workmanship, causing the wood to rot with the water. Also the result of 2-year old children being bathed in the sink.
Tile the shower outside - this is the shower everybody in Malie uses, except us because we're special people with special needs which require an actual light when showering, a bathroom floor not overtaken by moss, the absence of cockroaches, spiders, lizards and millipedes co-existing happily under the bathroom sink and behind the toilet (and in it, no doubt), and a toilet bowl not blackened by dirt and shit and just basic lack of cleanliness and hygiene.
Weed the garden - the garden which consists of puataunofo, aute and vao fefe.
Scrub the graves - which the kids play on, jump on with their dirty feet (the graves are tiled in white) and sleep on, on Sunday afternoons.

Meanwhile, the non-Malie people don't have to soil their hands, ruin their manicures or chip a fingernail, or even induce the smallest amount of perspiration on their bodies to assist in the clean-up. Oh no. We live there, so we do it. And their jobs? To buy the food. They were fighting over who was going to buy eggs for the breakfasts. Dudes, it's only $4.00 for a dozen. What are you all being stingy about??

And all this work, I am eager to do. And of course I am going to give up my "going out" time on the weekends, my rest time away from work, my relax-days just to do all this. Of course I'll do it. Being the devoted wife I am, I will do it. In my head, while I'm lying in bed having a good snooze.

An image of the Goddess

2006-07-12T13:36:00.000-11:00

And here we have....a pretty picture of Mrs Fotuosamoa Jody Jackson Beceira at the Wintec Matariki Wearable Arts Show. What a lovely, creative ensemble. This girl has got "creativity" coming out of her ears, I tell ya!

Actually, I saw this a while back...I think it came on TV? Isn't she gorgeous? Strutting her sexy self down the runway with her very own design, while thinking to herself, "OMG, is this a kite I'm holding up?!" Heh. Juss gidding. It's a very pretty kite. One you would never find straying amongst the clouds at Safua.

She is the winner of the Matariki Magic category. Congratulations cuzzy bro. Lots of love from Tinto and everybody here in Samoa.

Baby fevers and faafafines

2006-07-10T10:51:00.000-11:00

I promised to talk more about Culture and the judicial law. However, my penchant for raving about cultural problems has waned. Stay tuned to 30 Minute for an update on Peseta Lafaialii and the matais of Neiafu.

A recap on moy weekend:

Tinto was not feeling well. On Thursday evening she developed a terrible fever. It was terrible because she's never been sick like that and I was running around like a headless chicken not knowing what to do. So much for remaining calm in difficult situations. She was feverish because she has finally started teething. I overdosed her with Magnesia, Panadol and Dimetapp. Still she wasn't knocked out. I contemplated giving her some valium, but then I would have nothing to drink myself. She improved immensely and by Saturday, she was back to her normal self except she was chewing everything she could get her gums on, to help soothe the discomfort. Poor pepe.

I went out. I had a lovely bout of pool at Blue Lagoon on Saturday evening. I hate playing when it's full and there's a crowd of people staring at your butt crack while you bend over to shoot the cue ball...and miss of course because you're too self-conscious and are afraid the crowd might be sniggering about you missing the ball. Which they are of course. Laughing at you, that is. Meanwhile your partner is getting frustrated, and tired of tidying up the shots for you and setting them up, only to have you shoot it down, and shoot the cue ball down as well. So yes. It was nice arriving at Blue as soon as it opened and having the table free to ourselves for the next 2 hours. We then went to a friend's house to drink and be merry. By the time we came back out again, I had a headache and started drinking water. Everyone else in our group was off their faces and insisted on drinking way past closing time at Tropicana. The faafafines were outdoing themselves on the dance floor. Lambada whaaa? They looked lovely from afar. Take a closer look and see the roughly shaven jaw, over-plucked eyebrows, whore-red applied lipstick on masculine lips, splotchy black-headed complexion, beer belly not entirely hidden under a girdle, firm muscular thighs and size 8 shoes on size 13 feet. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A lot of "beholders" had their glazed, drunken eyes only for these beauties and were entranced by the amount of sweat being drenched on their chests by faafafines' tissue-paper-stuffed bosoms which were soaked and the smell of male perspiration was suffocating. Just a normal night out on the town, I thought.

I finally watched The Da Vinci Code. It was difficult keeping up with it and trying to give Tinto a bath, feed her, have a smoke and listen to the boys and their racket. The bits and pieces I did see seemed good. I'd like to watch it alone with my full concentration on it. Still, I did see the so-called controversial parts of the movie. And I still don't see the big deal. I also saw a movie named Lucky Number Slevin with Josh Hartnett, Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley, Lucy Liu & Stanley Tucci. Good cast and good movie.

Humming to "Just another manic Monday!" There's a lot of good 80s music being played on 96.1. Thank you for helping us to get through the monotonous day. And drown out the noise coming from my co-worker's desk. Remember the one who said trash about me? Well she's having a little tantrum with her stapler. Perhaps she's trying to show me that she's angry. About what? Why is it that when people are put on the spot, they try to turn things around and make out like you're the bad guy. Sigh.

Love and prayers to the family of Leanne Jemina Wong Ling. She passed away a few days ago. Poor baby. Her life hadn't even begun. At least we know she is safe in our Lord's protection now. Rest In Peace baby girl.

Culture vs the Law

2006-07-07T16:20:00.000-11:00

I was watching an interesting program on SBC last night. It is called "30 (Tolu Sefulu) Minute" and features a variety of issues present in our Samoan society.

Last night's episode was a re-run of their show two Sunday's ago. It was concerning villagers being banned from their villages. They featured a man named Peseta Lafaialii who was banned from his village of Neiafu. According to him, he was banned for voting for a political candidate other than the one which the village had enforced for everyone to vote for. The village, represented by the pulenuu (akin to a town mayor) denied this, and said that Peseta was exiled for being "faamaualuga" (high-minded/arrogant) in their matai meetings and that this kind of high-mindedness was not to be tolerated in their village. He was then given notice to leave the village and never again set food on the "eleelee" of Neiafu.

Peseta took the matter to court. He felt that he was being victimised and that as a Samoan, he had the right to stay in his village regardless of what the matai of the nuu had to say about it. The Lands & Titles Court reviewed his case and gave their decision to allow him to return to Neiafu.

Needless to say, the matais of Neiafu were furious.

The question is, how can you differentiate between the laws of our culture - tu ma agaifanua, and the legal "tulafono" of our country? Where do you draw the line? The matais claim that legal action does not have any standing in the laws of the village. They cannot cross that boundary. If so, then how do you solve these problems? Peseta as well as the Court claim that it is his "aia tatau" (human right) to be able to live in his village as he did not actually break the law.

The matais of Neiafu are now appealing for the decision to be disregarded (gawd, someone help me out with the legal terminology here...lol). They refuse to allow Peseta back in their village. In allowing him to return, they lose face. The very foundation of their positions as matais is based on their ability to make decisions in the village and in their eyes, it is their human right to kick Peseta out if they so wish. It is also makes a mockery of the matai system as they see it. Why be given these rights as matai, if the Courts can simply rule over their decisions? However, we also must look at the weight of these decisions. You may ask, who are they to banish a man from his own land, his home, the place where he has lived all his life, just because he gave them lip or was "fiapoto"?

Something to think about as I begin my weekend. I'll elaborate more on next week. Have a good one. Take care, everybody.

Oh what it is to be famous

2006-07-04T08:34:00.000-11:00

"If all persons knew what they said of each other there would not be four
friends in the world". Blaise Pascal

Why do people talk? It's human nature I suppose. Where would we be, if we didn't talk, especially about other people. The world would stop spinning if we all kept our mouths shut and minded our own business. Conversations would be limited to the niceties. How are you? It's hot today isn't it? That's a lovely garden you have. None of the juicy gossip that brings people together, over coffee, dinner, after-work drinks, on the phone and on and on it goes.

I received news yesterday, of some rumours going around about me. Yes, infamous old me. When someone told me, "Hey, people have been saying things about you. Even people at USP in Fiji are talking about it", I wasn't too bothered. You learn to develop a thick skin. I know I have. I almost died of shame when I was sent back home after failing from university. I could see the looks. I heard how people said that I was having too much of a good time. My poor parents. What an ungrateful wretch I was etc etc. I was ashamed for my parents. But I decided that I wasn't going to burden them any longer by making them pay for my fees to go back to uni overseas. I stuck it here and faced the shame. I know people talked. But I showed them, by leaving again soon after. Years later, I got pregnant and got married. More talk. I survived that too, didn't I? I have a great marriage, and a beautiful daughter and loving husband to show for it. I have no regrets. Let them talk. I'm no saint. I've talked about other people and this is just the same thing. Someone said that gossip is great, unless you're the one being gossiped about. Truer words were never spoken.

But this. This is different. This is downright spiteful, unfounded, jealousy-inspired pack of lies. A step up! Apparently, people have been saying that when I was going out with Chee, I was two-timing him with his best friend. Then I got pregnant and Tinto's real father is this best friend guy. When I heard it, I cried. I was so angry. Angry is putting it mildly. How dare people accuse me of being promiscuous like that? How dare people think that I would stoop so low as to cheat on my husband (then boyfriend) with his best friend who eventually became his best man at our wedding. And most of all, HOW DARE THEY SAY THAT TINO IS NOT CHEEKU'S DAUGHTER???

It's one thing to say shit about me. And a whole different matter when it's about my husband and my child. I can't believe these people. I am utterly astounded at the extremes people are willing to go, to get a good story to liven up their lives. This is right out of Days of Our Lives. All it needs now is a blody confrontation. What gives them the right to even speak my daughter's name? O ai oukou, kou maile?! And the people who are spreading the rumours? I hardly even know them. I was surprised at why they would be tattling tales about someone they hardly know. One of them works with me. In fact, she sits not ten feet from me. Keep your friends close, and enemies closer huh. I racked my brains trying to find a connection and aha! Click! Three of these people are friends of the girlfriend of this best friend. Another is my hubby's ex. Another works with him. Spiteful indeed.

When I told my husband about it, he just shook his head. He told me not to dwell on it. People can talk if they want. "Aua ke mafaufau fua iai, aua e kupu ai ma le ika. E maimau ai fua le kaimi i ga ikuaiga kala", he said. I wish I could be as patient, and forgiving and just plain calm about it. I guess I didn't have such a thick skin after all seeing as how I am all damaged by these allegations. Heh.

Ah well. I tell myself that as long as I know the truth, and I am happy and utterly in love (stob your corny) with my husband and have a close platonic relationship with his best friend and have real supportive friends, then fuckall with what other people think. You can eat your hearts out all you want.

And that's all I have to say about that.

To the beach

2006-06-27T09:07:00.000-11:00

We went to Lalomanu beach on the weekend. I haven't been to the beach since before Tinto was born.

It was a lovely Saturday afternoon when we got down there. All the beach fales were packed full of people...namely palagi people. White people in search of a sun-kissed (to borrow Fotu's phrase) weekend, and a good tan. This is a tourist myth which usually translates into a sweltering hot, sweat-filled weekend and a lobster-like complexion. Ahhh...the joys of having brown skin. There were groups of Peace Corp volunteers from Australia having their "induction" at Lalomanu. A relaxing day of bikinis, beers, sex and sand before entering the world of lavalavas tied awkwardly around your waist, walking from one village to the next lugging your 30kg backpack, taking photos of naked children and dogs and old ladies and learning to speak Samoan, say the word "Samowa" properly, and eat tinned fish with faalifu taro from yesteryear.

We had dinner at Taufua Beach Fales, though we were staying next door. We got there and the tables were filling up fast. We sat at one end of the long table making sure we were all sitting together...you know, for moral support. A black cloud amongst the white ones. We were introduced to a load of Marys, Danas, Ashleys, Haileys and Toms. There were smiles all around. Our smiles broadened when the food came. There was fresh lobster, green salad, mashed potato, sushi, chicken curry and somosas. While the palagis were eating slowly, chatting amongst each other, sipping their beers, we were stuffing our faces, making sure there wasn't a white piece of meat left on those lobster shells and popping sushi like m&m's. The green salad was left virtually untouched. I could see the side glances they were giving us. "Savages!" was the thought on most people's minds. When our plates had been taken away, we reached under the table for the bottle of Absolut and the sprite we smuggled in. After a few glasses, we started mingling. Nothing like a bit of alcohol to loosen us up and make us more personable. There were performances by the local dance group. We oohed and aahhed with the rest of them, like we had never in our lives seen anything like it before. We clapped and called out "More! More!" which started the audience calling for an encore.

The next day, after taking a morning dip which sobered us immensely, we went for breakfast. The palagis were also coming in from their morning swims. We had washed the seawater off and changed clothes. They hadn't. Straight from the beach, they came and sat down for breaky. In their speedos and bikinis. It was annoying, eating my eggs and having wet ass and boobs in my face as people moved around getting their food. They didn't seem to mind. It's their culture. But not mine. It reminded me of a cartoon I saw once of the European missionaries arriving in Samoa and telling the Samoans in their grass skirts and not much more, to "cover yourself!" A century later, the roles had reversed. Europeans in Samoa walking around in their bikinis, and the Samoans tell them to cover themselves.

In other news:

I have the flu. I have an aversion for medicine so this flu won't be departing any time soon. I've been drinking a lot of E2 and V drinks and Powerade. It helps to clear my sinuses for some reason, and give me energy.
Tinto's latest development. When she sees me eating, she starts crying because she wants to eat. She watches me closely as I bring the spoon from my plate to my mouth. When she realizes it's not her mouth the spoon is going to, she bawls loudly and pitifully fit to bring the neighboring village running to see who is being tormented. Oh and she also had a lovely time at the beach, splashing in the water. She's definitely a water baby, that girl of mine.
Mr Tee is hospitalized. Mr Tee is one of Samoa's recent stars in music and has also featured in songs such as "Fika Mai Le Pese". His songs include "Tusi Mai", "Nofo Popole" and more. Songs which you will hear every 5 year old singing to. Mr Tee was involved in a fight at his village of Solosolo and was slashed on his arms and hands with a bush knife.
My new favorite drink is Hypnotiq. Thanks to Henry and the divas drinking at Bora Bora on Friday night. It tastes like a blue tropical punch with a twist. An alcoholic twist if you will. Very yummy.

Crime and our ever efficient Police

2006-06-14T07:51:00.000-11:00

I've been coming in to work extra early lately. As in 7:30. A whole 30 minutes of my life wasted coming to work when I could be still sleeping. Or watching the Soccer World Cup. Or playing with Tinto. Or reading my Judith Krantz book. Yes yes it's rubbish but I spent a whole $5 on it, so I may as well read it.

It's still not 8:00AM yet.

Yesterday we found out that my hubby's cousin's husband died in Savaii. His body was found floating in the sea at Sapapalii. He had apparently been drinking with some 'friends'. No one knows what happened. These 'friends' are now nowhere to be found. There was broken glass and bottles found near where they were drinking at Lio's beach fales. This is where a lot of government employees stay when they travel to Savaii for work. My hubby's cousin Charlene and her husband Raponi had been married for about 4 years. They have no children. I suppose in a way, it's providential that they don't have kids, although if my husband died, I would like to have his children with me to share in my grief, and so that his legacy lives on in his children. "Share in my grief". Sounds selfish doesn't it. When Raponi's body was found, there were slashes and bruises on the back of his neck and across his back. Horrifying, how Samoan society is now ridden with crime. How we don't even gasp anymore when a murder is reported on the news. How committing cold-blooded murder is now so easy for people to do. Like riding a bike.

Police investigations are under way. You know what that means. That means nothing. Bring on CSI. Some of these policemen have no clue about what they're doing. Yes they would be best described as "clueless". A lot of the police I've encountered are arrogant and stupid. They think their jobs give them the right to be rude, threatening and overbearing. Traffic police especially. They flag down drivers who haven't broken the law, just because they can. Then they give them an endless tirade about speeding or some such nonsense. My mom had to go down to the police station one day to give a statement. The cops were rude to her, and made derogatory remarks about her in Samoan. My mom is not Samoan but she can understand and speak the language. She stood up to get her bag from the car and one of them shouted "SIT DOWN!! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!" This prick's name is Richard Ah Ching. He told off my mother as if he were talking to a 5 year old. She was making a statement, not getting arrested for fark's sake. The woman my mom was making a statement against, an employee who stole money, was there too. Richard took her aside and started chatting with her and have a jolly good time laughing away. My mom was furious. She wrote a letter to the Police Commissioner about it. And of course, as we all know, nothing happened.

The policing system in Samoa leaves a lot to be desired. We all know that. They need more training, especially in self-discipline and disciplining others. More diplomacy skills. Tact. Questioning. Politeness. Investigating. How to put their damn underwear on without it riding up their asses causing anal retention.

But back to my day. It's now 8:20AM. Time to do some work. Really.

Manu Samoa going off the deep end

2006-06-09T12:59:00.000-11:00

Manu Samoa. The pride and joy of our country. The rugby team that put us on the map in the 1991 Rugby World Cup. The team that has us staying up late into the night and wee hours of the morning just to watch their games and support our number one team.

Ahh how I wish for those days back.

Manu Samoa now. Sucks. Seriously. I have come to the point where I turn off the TV to save myself from watching their embarassing performance.

Like last night. Manu Samoa versus Junior All Blacks.

In the first few minutes of the game, John Senio (Manu Samoa) scored. The whole country roared in appreciation and glee. At Malie, we could hear the neighbors shouting when Senio scored. After that, there was silence. Silence for the following 80 minutes of the game. I think you can figure out what that meant.

The score was 56 to12. The Jr All Blacks scored 7 tries to Manu Samoa's 2 measly ones.

Watching the game, I was quite apalled at the chosen line-up. Some unknown guy who probably plays 4th division rugby out in the wop wops of NZ was 1st Five Eight or "Fesi" as we call it. His name is Doug Sanft. He was too slow getting the ball out from the scrum, fumbled only a few hundred times, and couldn't get the ball over the post for a single penalty. Okay I shouldn't be too hard on him. He wasn't the only bad player. The number 12 Dominic Feaunati was pretty bad too. Kevin Senio was 5 metres from the score line. Dominic reached out with one hand and made a sad, half-hearted attempt at tackling him. Needless to say, Kevin scored. There were a few other pathetic players but I won't go into detail. Brian Lima was still the man and shone every time he had the ball. Pity he couldn't shine all the way to the try line.

In the news today, it said: "The Junior All Blacks continued to embarrass their island neighbours with a 56-12 win over Samoa in their Pacific 5 Nations match in Albany on Friday night." *sputters* Continue to embarrass? Fia maua le kagaka ga kusia le mea lea ae sei kiki le guku. Har! But yeah. The news was the usual "Junior ABs thrash Samoa, hammer Samoa, wallop Samoa"...that kind of thing.

*sigh*

Give me Peter Fats, To'o Vaega, Sila Vaifale, Anitelea Aiolupo and the boys any day.

It's a SMILE

2006-06-06T12:36:00.000-11:00

Some pics taken by our very own professional photographer at the PM's. Har! Thanks Reesa. The photos are loverly!

Flashing out one of her gawjus smiles. What a fia pulili.

Distracted by Ave's antics.

"Hey y'all!" Cutey Ave waves to his mommy while Tino is intrigued by the amount of flesh flashing before her eyes. Haha.

"I can walk by mys-- Oooh wait, let me pose."

"So I thought we might hit the clubs tonight but you're kinda under-dressed"

A toast to Death

2006-05-29T10:06:00.000-11:00

Lately, I've been hearing a lot of local news where people have been murdered, due to excessive alcohol and drunkenness and bottled-up anger.

A year ago, at RSA, a man was killed. He apparently had kept asking some lady for a dance. She refused, got angry, told her husband, who turned around and brought a chair down over the man's head. He died.

Two weeks ago at Faleula, a young man was killed by a friend. They had been drinking and the guy began throwing insults at his friend. He then threw a rock at his friend, causing a deep gash in his head. The friend, holding a grudge, returned a week later and hit him with a rock, killing him.

On Friday last week, yet another murder occurred at Faatoia. Some friends were drinking, and one man got angry at another for something he said. He went home, got his gun, came back to the party and shot his friend dead.

Meanwhile, on Saturday night at Malie (yes at my house), my two brothers-in-law invited some village boys over and had a grand old drink-up outside the house. Cheeku had gone to take his cousins out and I stayed home. One of the brothers, Sione, was very very drunk (thank you pulu, niu vodka and vailima) and asked me for the key of the commodore to go and see his girlfriend who lives at Fasitoo-uta. Over my dead body. The guy was drunk. I wasn't about to give him the keys so he could drive into the ulu tree out front. So I went to sleep and locked my door. Sione kept knocking at my door until about 12 midnight. Gordy, the other drunk brother told him off for bugging me. Sione, being too drunk to even THINK, got angry and told him "this is my house, e pule a'u, who are you muli pu, rah rah rah". Gordy told him to shut up. This only spurred him on and he pulled out a knife from the kitchen drawer and started waving it around. The village boys wanted an active role and rushed into the house and pulled out knives too. One of the cousins who wasn't too drunk decided to shut him up for good, and punched Sione in the jaw, knocking him out. The boys went onto the road, yelling and shouting, and ended up fighting each other in the middle of the road.

Needless to say, the brothers were reprimanded yesterday at toonai and told to get out of the house. They were also fined by the village.

But the issue remains.

Drinking. Excessively.

Look at what it does to people. I don't know if it's a common problem in other countries, but in Samoa, that is definitely the case. A Samoan male who doesn't drink is either under 15 or has Parkinson's and can't hold a drink without spilling it. I must be just generalizing here (and warning: I may be making assumptions), but I have seen with my own eyes how many men frequent the clubs to drink and drink some more. I have cousins and uncles galore who all love their beer. And what occasion doesn't have alcohol involved?

The problem here seems to be knowing when to stop. Knowing when you've had enough and it's time to don the pjs and go to bed. They will drink on and on until they can't see straight. And that's when things gets rough. They get into fights. They take things too seriously or the total opposite. Anger they have harbored comes to the surface. A lethal mix which only leads to violence and death.

How many times have we heard of this happening?

It's hit home because it has actually happened before my eyes, in my own home. Men fighting and squalling over some miniscule detail, and violence erupting because of it.

So how do you stop someone from drinking? It's not as if Samoa has an AA. Or any form of a rehabilitation center. I suppose they believe prison is the ideal form of rehabilitation. It's so typical of Samoans to push away the real issues. So they stopped shops from selling beer on Sunday. They can buy on Saturday and stock up for Sunday. They ban alcohol drinking in the village. Fine. Go drink in the neighboring village. Banning it won't make it go away. It's like the Da Vinci Code movie. Someone will bring it over and make a million copies and we'll all watch it despite what censors say.

People need to change their ways. Drink less. Find ways to have fun without having to imbibe alcohol. Know when to stop! And yes I need to take a page out of my own book too.

Rugby disappointments

2006-05-29T09:09:00.000-11:00

Last Friday, every rugby fan in Samoa got ready for the final Super 14 game of the season. Yes, Wellington vs Canterbury. We are, most of us, die hard Hurricanes fans for a number of reasons. 1. Some of us went to school in Wellington and feel a strong sense of patriotism to the city and its team. 2. The team is overridden with Samoans. Again, the patriotism. 3. Samoa is a small place. Half of us are probably related to the players. 4. They have some very fine male specimen on the team. It's our right to ogle if we want. 5. And of course, Hurricanes is a great team with a lot of All Blacks or possible ABs on the team. C'mon, they've got Tana. Who wouldn't wanna support them?

Before the game started, I had my cup of coffee, coffee flask, cigarettes, ash tray and remote set out on the table before me. I found the best seat in front of the TV, and bundled up coz it was freezing monkey balls outside. I made sure to put Tino to sleep before 8:30.

Kick-off time. Wait. The TV is gegefu. Must be the bloody LAU TV reception. So we move the antenna in all directions and the gegefu-ness is still there. One of the kids even tried wiping the TV screen with a cloth. It could've been dust. But NOOOOO. It wasn't. It was the damned FOG in Christchurch. It clouded up the entire rugby field and stadium and I couldn't for the life of me, see a thing.

For the length of the game, the fog remained, heavy and thick. It ruined the game and forced a lot of errors for both teams. They dropped the ball only about a million times. They were depending on these forced errors for penalties. It looked like nobody could make a try in the apalling conditions. On camera, you couldn't see a thing from above and they had to rely on sideline cameras where you could see about half a field. I feel sorry for the crowd. Half of them were forced to watch the massive screens behind them.

The game itself. It was a mediocre. None of the excitement and urgency which characterizes a final Super 14 (12) game. There was one try made by Casey Laulala of the Crusaders. The rest were penalty kicks.

Final score: Crusaders 19 - Wellington 12

Good job Crusaders. I still love you Hurricanes.

And next year, for the love of God, PLEASE have the final anywhere but farken Christchurch.

Who are you, muli pu?

2006-05-26T08:37:00.000-11:00

My mini diva at 6 months

...a far cry from the little isumu she used to be...

(and yes, that's her daddy's tummy she's lying on, which spreads out far and wide)

Stop your ban!

2006-05-22T09:39:00.000-11:00

Despite my urge to rant and rant on about the banning of The Da Vinci Code in Samoa, we've read enough about it in the papers, and Fotu Jody has blogged on it and we all share the same views on the subject. IT SUCKS! The National Council of Churches members need to pull their heads out of their asses and tune into this century. So China and India banned it. They're not even Christian countries. Who is Archbishop Mataeliga trying to be? Chief spokesman for the Vatican? The saviour for the new millenium? Is he trying to be a martyr and save Samoa from a mass of lost souls as a result of watching the movie? "If the movie was based on the true Gospel then I think it wouldn't be so bad. This movie will affect the beliefs of young people, whose faith is not strong", he told the press. Dude. Why don't you let us figure that out for ourselves. If you feel that the movie will affect your beliefs, sensibilities, heart rates, digestion, anal retentive dispositions, then stay home. Don't watch it. Simple as that. He should have more faith in Christians and the strength of their faith. If he, and other church leaders are worried about its effect on us, it makes me wonder just how much faith they have in our faith. And in exactly what way would the movie change people's beliefs? One movie which suggests that Jesus may have been married to Mary Magadalene (omg that ho!) versus two thousand years of Christianity in the world and two hundred of those years in Samoa. One movie people. One lousy movie.

Okay so I did rant but only a little. It's Monday. Give a girl a break.

It's another week. Cheeku is off from work for two weeks. He's playing pool somewhere. Some people have all the luck. Someone won $18 million in the NZ Lotto on the weekend. Lucky bastard! Don't know if anyone won our lotto. Tino is at home. She was being fussy all of yesterday. I think she's teething. The babysitter thinks she missed her. Whatever. I'm reading "Lucy Sullivan is getting married" by Marian Keyes. It's so good so far. I have a craving for chowmein and egg foo yong from Sunrise. I'm depressed about being fat. I wanna be one of those anorexic mothers who can hardly support or carry their 20 pound babies on their hip. I want to take pictures of Tino and myself and not hog the entire photo space. I want to look skinnier than my sister-in-law, who even at the last stages of her pregnancy, looked thinner than me. My mom just called. She's at Maria's buying an itch relief cream for Tino who scratches her ears all the time. I think it's just a reflex, her bringing her fingers up to her head and accidentally grabbing her ears. I think my mom worries too much. She thinks I don't worry enough. I saw Meta wearing my sunglasses this morning, which were in the glove compartment of the commodore. I don't want to wear them anymore. Bloody put me off. Might get an STD on my eye or something.

A Mother's Day reminder

2006-05-16T08:51:00.000-11:00

It's another working week and we are just recovering from the long Mother's Day weekend.

Mother's Day. What is that anyway?

It's a chance to be in on all the super sales going on in town. Everything, and I mean everything is on sale leading up to Mother's Day. There was a 3 day market going on at the To'oa Salamasina Hall, which consisted of various stores in Apia selling their wares in stalls at the hall for a supposedly cheaper price. This was supposed to make it easier for people to shop...having everything they needed in one place rather than driving from Amau to Molesi to Indoors, and looking for a parking space. And for those without transport, it was the long walk from one place to another, trying to flag a taxi down. The problem with this market was that it was too crowded, the smell of perspiration, body odour and frustration was overpowering, and each stall basically sold the same items - clothes, shoes and hair accessories. At Big Bear, they had marbles on half price. Marbles. Why would a mother wants marbles as a gift? To play with? To pelt at you when she was angry? To decorate the house with? Because she had "lost her marbles"??

It's an opportunity for a long holiday. An extra day off work. An extra day to sleep in, clean the house and yard, play golf, watch dvds, or go to the beach.

There are "Mother's Day" Competitions, raffles, and lots of prizes to be won. Western Union's promotion was that if you sent money overseas totalling $100 or more, you went into the draw to win a TV set, dvd etc. At Molesi Samoa (or Frankie or whatever it's called now), if you bought goods over $20, you were eligible to win cash prizes of $50 or $100. Telecom Samoa and Samoatel had cheap deals to make phone calls overseas. I think this is great for people whose mothers live overseas.

It is most importantly, the chance to buy your mother something special for her day, cook her breakfast/lunch/dinner...the works, and let her rest and put her feet up.

So what's the problem?

This is a typical example of a commercially driven "special day", much like Father's Day (although not as much hype), Christmas, New Year, White Sunday. We are dictated into what we should celebrate, when and why. We spend a ridiculous amount of money for a day which in fact should be celebrated every day, and without the need to spend. Instead of buying our mothers household appliances and things to decorate her shelf, why not buy something she wants. Something for herself, which only she can enjoy. After all, it's her day. It's not about the $100 at Molesi and the TV at Western Union. Think about it. You want those things. Your mother just wants a break. One year, I bought my mom a stainless steel shower rack. I thought she'd love it. She did, but it wasn't really what she wanted. She said "why don't you buy something for ME, like that non-smear lip stick I've been looking for or an Anita Shrieve book?" This year, my dad went berserk looking for a suckling pig to roast for Sunday. My mom doesn't even fancy roast pork that much. But my dad does.

So who is the day really for? Is it for the supermarkets and stores which are profiting from this day? Is it for fathers who are choosing what to cook for Sunday because it's the food they like to eat? Is it for the children who will be eating ice cream and cake and all that yummy food? Or is it for the mother who would rather substitue that purchased commodity for attention and quality time with family, and the mother who has worked and toiled to ensure her children have the best of everything and keep the family together?

How many people actually did all the work on Sunday and the holiday yesterday, to make sure their mothers were pampered and were comfortable, happy and rested? How many spent the day with their mothers just enjoying that "togetherness" time?

It just strikes me as ironic that we make a big deal of this day, spend vast amounts of money, and yet it is questionable as to whether our mothers are actually happy. And more to the point, we should be celebrating motherhood and the role our mothers play every day, lavishing them with love and affection, appreciating them, and not just paying lip service to the day. Make no mistake, this is also a mental note to myself. A reminder to pay more attention to my mother and show her just how much I am grateful to her for.

Cigarette packaging

2006-05-10T11:27:00.000-11:00

I was having dinner last night and watching TVNZ One News. There was a report on cigarette packaging and how Health officials are proposing a regulation change that would see graphic images added to health warnings on cigarette packages.

They showed a few images of how a new cigarette pack would look. I almost barfed my food back up. They believe graphic images would be more effective than written words.

The pictures will cover at least half, or up to 60% of the cigarette packet. As a smoker, it's disgusting to look at your packet of smokes and have a picture of burned out lungs and damaged teeth and gums staring back at you. However, I don't think it'll stop people from smoking. You could always buy a cigarette case to put the pack in. Easy as that.

Will the New Zealand government lose support from the smoking population, you think? I don't know. In an attempt to be as politically correct as possible, they risk a lot of disgruntled smokers and disgust from the general public. But then the elections are a long way from now.

Meanwhile I'm off. You know where to.

The fragility of Life

2006-05-08T10:41:00.000-11:00

Some friends just relayed to me a story about how babies of their office-mates died over the weekend. One was born with a hole in her neck, and the other died by suffocation when her grandmother accidentally "slept" on her. I can't think of anything as sad as a baby dying. The innocence of a newborn child, a baby growing into her own character, becoming a person of her own, beginning to be aware of life, of her parents, of the people that love her dearly...and all in an instant, it's gone...died out like a light. The joy of her parents. Gone. I mourn not only for the babies, but for their parents. I feel for the mother who carried her child in her womb for nine months, eagerly anticipating the day her baby would enter the world and become a part of her life, only to have her die soon after. It is a pain no mother should endure. I feel for the parents of the 5 month old child who was smothered to death by her grandparent. The parents are now questioning themselves, berating themselves and each other for allowing this to happen, when they could have prevented it. But who was to know it would happen?

I think of my baby girl, Tautinoga. She is almost 6 months old. This could be her. It could be my workmates talking amongst themselves about me and my baby. Things happen. I can only care for her to the best of my ability, and pray that she will be under God's protection and nothing will happen to her. How fragile is a baby's hold on life? How helpless are we, as parents?

Every night I pray a small prayer for Tino.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for blessing us with the miracle of Tino. Thank you for the
blessings you continue to bestow upon my little girl. Please protect my baby
from harm, and keep her safe from all evil. May she sleep through the night
peacefully, and wake up in the morning refreshed for a new day. Please let her
continue to be healthy and strong, and to grow up to be a bright, healthy and
happy child. Help her to grow and develop normally. Lord help me to be a good
mother to my baby and to care for her in every way possible, and that I do not
neglect my duties as a mother. Lord I pray that you remain a great presence in
Tino's life and may she forever be under your protection and guidance.

Amen.

Tino is my pride and joy. She is my life. There is no greater bond than that of a mother and her child. I love everything about her. She's her own unique person. She giggle when I tickle her. She gives me a big grin when she catches sight of me, when I come home from work. She lies on her back and brings her little feet all the way to her mouth. She's sucking on her bottle and tries to stick her fist in her mouth at the same time. She complains when she's unhappy by gurgling in a low tone. She screeches when she's in a bad mood or when she wants something and is not getting it. She is my beautiful baby girl. I have moments where I'm sleeping and I jump up of all of a sudden and my first impulse is to check Tino and see if she is breathing. Sometimes I wake her up just to make sure. What if I lost her? I couldn't bear to imagine it. All I can do is cherish the moments, and pray that I never have to live through the pain of burying my own child.

Vote for Bronze

2006-05-05T08:50:00.000-11:00

Okay I'm doing this only because I'm being forced to. Heh. Please vote for Bronze Pele on Star Search. He's a solo singer, quite cute but married, and sings quite well according to me, Nydia Twain. My friend Morris (whose sister Penny-marie is married to Bronze) asked me to vote for him and so I did. And the guy has something like 440 votes already! Like he needs anymore. ANYWAY, vote for him okay. There's the url.

http://www.ipasifika.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=section&id=5&Itemid=35

This is Bronze. Remember him now from last Sunday?

And why is he called Bronze? His Dad won a bronze medal at a golf tournament or something, so when he was born he was named BRONZE. At least it wasn't "Apa Memea". Heh.

No comments!

2006-05-05T08:32:00.000-11:00

Bloody hell. I changed my template and all...as I said before, I was tired of that coconut tree, and changed it for a better looking coconut tree. And now there are no comments on it. As in I can't comment on my own posts. *sobs* How will I survive?

Frustrations, exorcisms, new cars and tidal waves

2006-05-04T13:47:00.000-11:00

*frustrated to the point of tearing my hair out and digging my fingers into my eyeballs*. Frustrated for no reason. Except maybe because I can't get past Level 80 of Bubble Ice Age. And the chicken I just had for lunch is feeling all wrong in my stomach. And I feel like so fat but can't get up off my ass to do something about it. Now I know how obese people feel. Like the lady who sued Macdonalds for making her fat. Oh and I updated my blog (because I was tired of that coconut tree) and it's not bloody showing. I hate doing updates which only show on my comp the next day.

It was Cheeku's birthday on Tuesday 2nd of May. Almost the "aso tolu o Me". Heh. I wonder why people joke about that anyway? We went out for lunch with his sisters. In the evening we went to Blue Lagoon. It wasn't a very fun occasion for me, due to some errr external forces present, giving me bad vibes. Then Cheeku got drunk and tried to make me "make up" with this "force" and I was trying very hard not to bring my glass down on his head and make him stop bugging me. I resisted only because it was his birthday. I had no urge whatsoever, drunk or not, to make up when the ball is in her court. If she rejects it in my face, then so be it. I miss her, but I've done enough grovelling. I have exorcised my demons and made my peace with God. I hope that further down the line, when we are older and wiser and less vengeful and more forgiving, we will become friends again. Someday.

We bought a new car last week. Well not really new. More like a new second-hand one. It's a red Holden Commodore '93 model. The entire car, engine and all have been changed, redone, re - everything. It's a right hand drive car, which is okay with us (obviously since we bought it anyway). It's got a great sound system which is what signed, sealed and delivered it for Cheeku. It's got an amp with 1300 watts or whatever, I don't know. I'm just interested in how fast it can go. And believe me, it goes. Fast. We decided to get another car so one person is not stranded when the other has to go somewhere...usually I'm the stranded one. It's convenient in a number of ways. I can take Tino to Siusega and stay for as long as I want, without having to rush back because Cheeku has the urge to see his car and check for dents, just in case I ran into every hibiscus bush from Malie to Siusega. I can leave home for work whenever I want, instead of getting up early because the teacher needs to be at school for assembly at bloody 7:30 in the morning. I can leave the clubs whenever I want, instead of sleeping in the car, or on the sea-wall because I'm too tired, too drunk or too sober and Cheeku is still busy being a dancing Queen (or dancing with one) at Bad Billy's. I can go shopping...on my own...without tag-alongs who sit in the car and become impatient after 10 minutes.

Yesterday a warning came blaring over the radio and TV waves. A massive earthquake hit Tonga, creating a tsunami heading towards Samoa. Here's a little bit of news on that:

"A magnitude-8.0 earthquake struck early Thursday near the South Pacific nation
of Tonga, the U.S. Geological Survey said. A tsunami warning was issued for Fiji
and New Zealand.The temblor, classified by the USGS as a "great" quake, struck
95 miles south of Neiafu, Tonga, and 1,340 miles north-northeast of Auckland,
New Zealand.The U.S. Pacific Tsunami Warning Center issued the tsunami warning
but said it was not known whether the quake generated a potentially deadly giant
wave."

Grab your surfboards! Moments later, the phone rings and it's my mom freaking out, telling us to pack all our belongings, Tino especially, and come to Siusega. Then Tuilaepa made announcement on the radio. All schools were closed and so were all workplaces. YAY. We decided that we would go first and see if there was really no work, and then come back home and pack baby up and head for Siusega. Notice how there was no real urgency? We were very laid back about it, on hindsight. Fortunately, on our way to town, there was an announcement that the tsunami warning had been cancelled. Yay again. A real holiday. And then I remembered the tsunami which hit Asia. A quarter of a million (billion?) people died and many missing, wounded etc. That's more than Samoa's population. What if it had hit, and everyone had died? We can laugh about it now, and talk about the relaxing fun day we had away from work and school yesterday but what if it had hit us? It's a disturbing thought. I live in Malie. The sea is 10 feet from my backdoor. I've read about how when the waves seep back into the sea, it's like a churning washing machine, sucking everything in with it...houses, trees, anything! It would probably have reached my home in Siusega too...so if we had gone there, would there have been a difference? Would we have been safer? It's a scary thought. The what-ifs. We should all be thankful that it didn't hit us. That we are still alive and safe and well.

And the weekend begins...

2006-04-28T13:55:00.000-11:00

It's Friday. The climax of the week. I'm ready for another weekend filled with laughter and alcohol and eating and sleeping and baby, baby, baby. Who could ask for more? (aside from winning the lotto, jackpot at $205,000).
Things to do this weekend:

- Go to Henry's house after work and have lots of funz with the divas
- Leave at 8 or 9 to go to the bbq at Malie - the bbq is to celebrate our new/second hand car and one of the kiddies is having a birthday.
- Sleep.
- Have a good bonding weekend with Tino who does nothing but laugh and gurgle these days
- Fill in my form for the NZ quota thingy. One in a million but worth a try.
- Find a good place to play pool where no one can watch me and laugh at me.
- Sleep.
- Pick up the stuff for the umu and buy fish.
- Buy energizer/duracel whatchamacalit batteries for the camera.
- Visit BB's and BL at least once on the weekend and have a good whiskey.
- REMEMBER TO GIVE SITA THE JAMES BLUNTATION
- Sleep.
- Go to church at Lepea (or make an attempt at least)
- Go over the weeks expenses, while taking naps in between.
- Do Tino's laundry and iron her clothes. Geez this girl is getting spoiled.
- Get out some worthwhile dvds which will put me to sleep.
- Try to catch a movie on Sunday afternoon.
- Omg, I forgot about eating. Yes eat too.

So that's it folks. My weekend in a nutshell (not that you really needed to know the details. Lol). Y'all take care and have a good one!

Signs for a laugh

2006-04-27T11:17:00.000-11:00

A few funny signs I came across online. It's amazing how a simple sign can be misconstrued, or is just plain wrong!

Errr "Hello, Fuk Mi, how can I help you?"

Wish they offered coke at our public toilets. "Pi pe ti'o? E manaomia ma sau coke?"

Okay who's gonna get that? Oh I will! I will!

I love this sign. I ain't gonna be the only fat one around dammit!

Thanks. All the more incentive to eat there.

A scary thought. This looks like something you'd see at the Faleata Golf Course.

So what is it? Are they allowed or not?

I wonder how the shopkeeper next door feels. If this place is protected by God, who's protecting his place?

LOL. What sex is really all about.

Crying brats and scavengers

2006-04-26T15:34:00.000-11:00

I have a sister-in-law (well, not really but we'll call her that) at home. Remember, the one with three kids under the age of 5 and another on the way. Excellent family planning. She's 31 years old going on 18. She used to work at Yazaki in Planning or somewhere. She boasts of wearing the "ofu pa'epa'e" which is supposed to be highest ranking 'shirt' at the company. She's very slender and fair and pretty in her own way. The first thing that struck me when I first started living there was how much she talked. She could sit for hours talking. Talking. Talking. Every now and then her husband would tell her to shut up and go do something useful. She would talk about her sister and her kids, her brothers, her uncles, their neighbors, some people she saw on the bus.

Yes, that sister-in-law. I hate the way she handles her children. And you're thinking "yeah and who are you, muli pu?" Ia pugi, I am a disapproving observer. She lets them run wild. If they had been brought up by wolves, they would be better behaved then they are now. Her eldest boy, P wakes up in the morning and heads straight for the tv. He sits there engrossed in BBC World News. Hello, turn the damn thing off and go wash your face. I'm paying the electric bill here! Junior (boy #2) cries to his mother for cereal. She screams at him, "e leai se cereal. Ova lou fia palagi lou alelo!" John (boy #3) walks around happily with a diaper sagging down to his knees with crap that he let out the night before and still hasn't been changed. She gives John a bubble gum to chew and keep his sugar level nice and high. It's not even 8AM yet. She walks across the road to the local shop and buys three twisties, 3 aisas (cold milky drink in a plastic bag), 6 bubble gums, and 3 german buns. She hands this out to her kids. P gets ready for school. This is a far cry from my childhood life of waking up, having a shower, and sitting down to a decent breakfast of toast and eggs or whatever...as long as it's healthy. Health is not a priority in this family, or haven't you noticed yet? The kids can also go two days straight without a bath. It's no surprise as their mother does the same.

Junior, boy # 2 is a naughty brat. His mother says "Junior, alu e aumai le salu e salu ai le fale" (go get the broom to sweep the house). He retorts, "Alu oe!" (You go!). It continues like this for a while, until she smacks him. In tears and sulking, he goes and starts pulling the wires out of the back of the tv. She yells at him to stop, and threatens to tell his father when he gets home from work. Note, the one person they are afraid of is their father, because when he gets his belt and says he's going to smack you, he really means business. These children lack discipline. They get none from their mother, and too much from their father, I think it's got them confused. Should I be naughty or not?? And as for John (#3), if he doesn't get what he wants, he will cry and scream and kick and throw tantrums until he gets it. You can imagine the headache I get every day when he starts screaming. And to make it worse, my sister-in-law screams at them...words like "Ou ke alu aku loa iiga sasa ma oe eh!" or "Vaai oe kei ua ku'i ma lou guku" etc etc. The fact that these children ignore their mother and have no respect for her gives me some insight on what it will be like when they grow up.

The children have bad habits, which can only be from their mother. If you leave something in the fridge, you come back later to find it gone. I can't believe how inconsiderate these people are. It's obviously not theirs, but it's within hands reach so they're going to eat it. My hubby was saying that if we left a pile of shit in the fridge, they'd probably eat it too. He left some chocolate in the little compartment you put butter in - which we never use because when we buy butter, it's demolished before you have a chance to refrigerate it. He came back after work and it had disappeared. My sister-in-law said P ate it...that he saw it in the fridge (he must have used a ladder to see into the butter compartment) and so he took it and ate it. His mother was laughing about it. I was having mental images of her front teeth falling off. I walked into their room once. John was munching on a piece of bread. Then he went to the corner where their dirty laundry was, rummaged through the clothes and pulled out a plastic bag full of bread. In the farken laundry! No wonder the bread keeps disappearing. A bad habit Junior has is swearing. His mother tells him to do something and he answers back with a "Ufa!" She laughs it off and tells us about it afterward. Yes she's proud that her 4 year-old son can swear like a grown man. Meanwhile, I am itching to get my hands on him and give him a good hiding. I've smacked him more than once for swearing at his mother. He cries to his mother who soothes him. Silly woman.

And finally, the clincher. When I make Tino's milk, I leave the can of formula on the top counter. After a while I began noticing that her formula was finishing more quickly than usual. Then one day I went into the kitchen to get something and found the formula cover half open, there was powder spilled on the counter, and there were 3 cups of coffee with milk. There was also a cup of milk. That's funny, because we didn't have milk that week. Then one day John began crying and pointing to the formula. His mother laughed and said he wanted to eat it. We've bought formula for the past 4 months, and only now he starts crying for it. Strange. He's crying as if he knows what it is and has eaten it before. When the can was finished, I gave it to P and Junior to play with. Instead of playing with it, they set it on the floor and sat down around it, and started eating the remaining powder stuck on the sides of the can. My suspicions were confirmed. The stupid woman was feeding her children baby formula. I was completely astounded. How can you be so desperate as to steal a baby's food and feed it to your children?

So that's my little ranting for today. Just another aspect of living at Malie and discovering how the other half really lives.

A wedding to remember

2006-04-24T10:02:00.000-11:00

I went to a wedding on Saturday. It was your typical Samoan wedding. We got to the church at 12:10PM. The bridal party arrived moments before we did. The priest was more than slightly annoyed and told them off for being late. Hah. This priest did the same thing to a friend of mine on her wedding day and that is why I made sure I was early....no, I lie. I was on time because my mom was freaking out and getting me dressed at 2. The service started at 3. We were so early that we went for a drive to town before going to the church. It was just as well too, because it took them about 20 minutes to drag me into the church. So anyway, back to the wedding, it was a nice service though a bit long. It finished at 1PM, which was the supposed time for the reception. Strike one. Bad time organization.

We arrived at Maota o Samoa at 1:30PM. It was already full. At the door we gave our invitations and recycled gifts. Hey, they were nice wine glasses and tumblers. Pugi. It took them 10 minutes to find our names on the non-alphabetically ordered list. The tables were arranged and numbered. I hate pre-arranged tables. You end up sitting next to people you don't want to sit with. It was okay this time. We were with some people we vaguely knew from UPY. We waited patiently for a waiter to come by. Half an hour later, we were still waiting. Other tables had chips and drinks and we had none. I could feel my pa-ka'e-ness surging. Finally a waiter arrived.

"Can I have a whiskey and coke?" I asked
"We aren't serving that yet", the waiter replied
"Okay can I have some wine then?"
"Sorry we only have champagne for toasts"
"No, WINE. E maua se wine?"
"No. No champagne." (was the waiter retarded or what? Wine. Champagne. D-i-f-f-e-r-e-n-t!)
"Okay then what do you have?", in an annoyed tone (lol, as if I was paying for it)
"Coke, Sprite, Vailima"

Fark. Strike two. Bad drink selection. I settled for a coke. The pupus were passed out. On the tray were crab sticks, pieces of crab meat, and shrimps which looked 2 days old. Hello, they were brown instead of the normal orangey/pink. The flies were zooming in fast.

The wedding party arrived at 2:30PM. Did I mention that the bride looked beautiful? She did. Very much so. There was the maid of honour, 4 bridesmaids and 3 or 4 (can't remember now) flowergirls. Their clothes were locally made, I assumed, by the bad workmanship. Like blue satin with black corded piping. Silver earrings. White shoes. The maid of honour had a greyish satin dress, and the back had squarish/diamond cuts connected by...wait for it...coconut buttons.

The food was distributed at about 4:30-ish. Apparently not everyone got food. It was your usual chicken, sweet n sour, egg foo yong, taro, pork and one oyster thingy. The best man Dean Solofa made his speech. It was quite good. He got a few laughs. The bride and groom's grandmothers made speeches too. That was nice. It something special having your grandmother alive to be at your wedding. My grandmother wasn't even alive for my 21st let alone my wedding.

And to end it with a bang, the MC, some guy who's supposed to be a doctor...Manu or something, came back to the mic. He was telling some people to keep the noise down. They just laughed it off. He got angry and began shouting, "Faalogo mai oukou pe a ou fai aku. O Faumuina lea. O Faumuina lea e kaukala. O Faumuina o le kupu. A kaukala aku le kupu oga kou filemu laia. O au o le kupu!" Fark. Someone's got issues. Someone shouted from the crowd, "O ga e sa'o oe. Ae le o oe o se kupu!" Poor bride and groom. To have their reception fucked up by a drunken MC. Strike three. Drunk tactless need-some MCs.

Everyone left after that, us included. We decided to head to Blue Lagoon...for real authentic whiskey.

Our new Cabinet

2006-04-21T10:57:00.000-11:00

This morning, PM Tuilaepa Sailele Malielegaoi officially named his new Cabinet. There were a lot changes and reshuffling of portfolios. The entire country was all tuned in to the radio or to the TV eagerly awaiting the news. Who's in, and who's out?

Tuilaepa Sailele Malielegaoi - Prime Minister

He is in charge of the Ministry of the PM (Cabinet and Immigration included), Foreign Affairs & Trade, and AG Office. Also the Executive Council, Honours & Awards, Totalisator Agency Board, NGOs, Polynesian Airlines & Scholarships Committee

Misa Telefoni Retzlaff - Deputy Prime Minister, Minister of Commerce Industry and Labour.

He also looks after the Legislative Assembly, Audit Office, ACB, Samoa Tourism Authority, Telecom Samoa, PFL & Samoa Shipping. Also trade negotiations with WTO, ACP/EU, PACER, PICTA, SBEC and Consumer Protection

Fiame Naomi Mataafa - Minister for Women, Community and Social Development (formerly Minister for Education, Sports and Culture)

She's in charge of PSC, Remuneration Tribunal, Ombudsman, Village Mayors & Sui o le Malo, Special Committe on Traditional Salutation and Legends.

Toleafoa Apulu Faafisi - Minister for Police & Prisons (new!)

He also is responsible for Juvenile Rehabilitation, Apia Park Board and RLS Foundation.

Tuisugaletaua Sofara Aveau - Minister for Works, Transport & Infrastructure (formerly Minister for Natural Resources & Envmt)

Also, Water & Electricity, Traffic & Civil Aviation, Government Housing, TCB, Samoa Port Authority, Airport, Samoa Shipping Corp.

Faumuina Liuga - Minister for Natural Resources & Environment as well as EPC, Water, Airport Authority (formerly Minister for Works, Transport & Inf)

Also, Samoa Land Corp, National Parks, Recreation & Water Conservation, STEC, National Disaster, Meterology & Forestry, PUMA, SPG Games

Niko Lee Hang - Minister for Finance (new!)

He also watches over NPF, Financial Institutions, Housing, Tenders Board, Revenue Board, Offshore Jursidiction, Registry of Births/Deaths/Marriages, Cabinet Development Committee

Tuuu Anasii Leota - Minister for Revenue (remains the same)

Also, the Public Trust Office & Liquor Board

Gatoloaifaana Amataga Gidlow - Minister for Health (new!)

Includes Oceania University of Medicine, District Hospitals & Health Centre, Women Health Committee

Mulitalo Siafausa Vui - Minister for Communications and Information Technology (formerly Minister for Health)

Also SBC TV and SamoaTel.

Toomata Alapati Poese - Minister for Education, Sports and Culture (formerly
Minister for Agriculture)

Includes NUS, Polytech, Pre-schools, Museums & Archives

Unasa Mesi Galo - Minister for Justice & Courts Administration (new!)

Also, Film Censorship, Law Reform Commission and Electoral Commission

Taua Kitiona - Minister for Agriculture, Forestry & Fish (new!)

Also, Agriculture Store Corp, Fisheries & Agriculture

And there they are. Our new Cabinet Ministers. Quite exciting, finding out who they were. People all over Samoa have been guessing who the cabinet will be, and making bets (I was one of them). Now that we know who they are, we can sit back and watch them manage their ministries, drive their flashy new land cruisers, prados and hiluxes around, while their wives are busy attending functions and cutting ribbons.

Two former ministers lost in the elections - Ulu Vaomalo Ulukini (Minister for Police) and Gaina Tino (Minister for Justice). Minister for Women, Tuala Ainiu Iusitino stepped down and did not run for elections. Two others were not chosen for cabinet this time round. They are Hans Joachim Keil (Minister for Commerce, Industry & Labour) and Palusalue Faapo II (Minister for Communications & I.T.).

It's sad seeing Joe Keil go, but then again, up and coming younger politicians are eager to take over so there's really nothing he can do. And, there can be only one Individual Voters MP in Cabinet, and seeing as Niko Lee Hang also won by a far margin to Joe Keil and he has a good financial/accounting background, it's his turn to take a stand in cabinet and make a change. And of course, heal the world and make it a better place.

Gatoloaifaana Ama Gidlow is the new Minister for Health. Goody for her! More power to women and MPs from Savaii. Remember, her late father Tofilau Eti Alesana was former Prime Minister of Samoa, until his death some years ago. Ironic how now both the Minister and CEO for Health are women. Is that saying it's a woman's role to handle healthcare? Florence Nightingale not just a plain old nurse, but now head honcho?

Anyway, congratulations to all the Ministers of Cabinet named today. The fate of our country virtually rests in your hands, and we expect you to do your jobs well. We didn't vote for you for nothing! Lol. And of course, congrats to Sita's dad! Yippee!

Going to a wedding

2006-04-18T13:55:00.000-11:00

Cheeku and I have been invited to a wedding. His good friend is getting married. And we're going to stuff our faces. For free! Lol.

Who's getting married? Yvonne Tuioti Mariner tying the knot with Aharoni Viliamu. You know them? Well I know Yvonne but am not too familiar with the guy. Yvonne has been Cheeku's very good friend for the longest time. I was jealous at one stage because she was all he would talk about and I felt like running my long sharp claws up and down a blackboard every time he'd start. In fact they.... Nahh I won't say it. Suffice it to say she is now getting married! It's happening this Saturday 22nd of April 2006. The service is at St Theresa's Catholic Church, Lepea (where we got married too) and the reception is at Maota o Samoa at Vaitele. So note, all crashers, this is where the party's at! Lol. No I was kidding so don't get any ideas and then get caught and then say "but Nydia was inviting people on her blog!" Yvonne works at the Ministry of Transport and Aharoni works at the Pharmacy at Motootua.

Cheeku was looking through our wedding gifts which haven't been opened. I was wondering what he was up to. He said he was looking for a decent gift to take to this wedding. Hahaha. Recycled gifts! How's that for saving a buck? Lol.

I remember our wedding. The whole time I was imagining what gifts we got and couldn't bloody wait to open them. We got some great stuff and very useful for our house. We also got 5 of the same thing - like the same punchbowl with glasses to match, and drinking glasses and irons. I happened to stop by Big Bear a few days after my wedding and found out these were on sale. Haha. That was a laugh. So anyway, we have boxes upon boxes of gifts unopened, sitting on the top of our closet, mainly because I refuse to use them in our kitchen and have them manhandled by the ignorant people at home. I personally don't like recycled gifts, because if someone's giving them away, it means they didn't like it and if they didn't like it, I probably won't either! Hehe.

So yay, something to look forward to on the weekend, where we can eat, drink and be drunk!

Easter blues

2006-04-18T13:49:00.000-11:00

Easter is over, and so is the long break. Enter depression. And naps at work. And wishful thinking. *sigh* I had a great weekend of sleeping in, late nights, lazing around the house, church and mulling over Jesus' death and ressurection, looking after my baby, laughing at all her antics, Esekielu's birthday, cake, ice-cream, fried chicken, going to the beach, red label and coke, music, laundry, and more sleep. It couldn't get any better.

Now it's back to slogging it at work and watching the clock tick slowly towards 4:30PM. This shall go on for another few days until the next weekend starts. Ah, life. I only ever fully live it on weekends. Lol. And it isn't even pay week, so I am looking forward to a broke weekend scrounging around for all the coins I scoffed at and threw away when I was rich from my last pay. So typical of me. I'll leave Cheeku to worry about having enough money for food, and petrol and diapers and formula. My coins are for my smokes and my ice cakes. Ice cake is basically frozen cordial or kool-aid in a small styrofoam cup. I got hooked on it when I was pregnant, and the craving has stuck with me ever since. So if you're driving past Malie at around 5 - 6 in the afternoon you'll usually see me, and the 5 kids at home, sitting on the front steps of our fale sucking on ice cake. And it's only 50 sene. Get your ice cake at a local store near you. Lol.

My aunt passed away on Good Friday. Requiescat in pace, Faleasiu Liki Tiatia. She was the mother to Liki, Satuu, Viliamu and Moelagi. I'm sure I'm missing somebody but that's who I can remember right now. Moelagi is the great mama to a bunch of psycho but wonderful kids, one of them being Jody (she's the psycho part). She was critically ill and passed away peacefully, or so I heard. My condolences to the girls and the entire family. I will be seeing you soon. So *sigh* it's another faalavelave for us. Another occasion to empty our already meager bank accounts, divest Ah Liki Wholesale of their pusa apa, and lift up the mattresses off our beds and look for decent ie togas underneath. I can hear my dad now, telling me in no uncertain terms to MAKE A LOAN. They should conduct a survey and find out how many of the people who make loans are making them for faalavelaves. I'll bet it's 90% of them.

I'm off. I'm going up to NPF to loan my soul away.

Random bloated thoughts...

2006-04-12T15:29:00.000-11:00

I had a good lunch today with my favourite people Reesa, Fotu and Sita. Henry and Tia are missing in action. I can imagine Henry having a lot of action right now. Hehe. Since last week I have been craving Mari's spaghetti boscaiola and been bitching about it to everyone I know. Finally, when I get the chance to order it (at Reesa's expense), I changed my mind and got chicken katsu instead. Stupid woman.

Jody came over today. She got in yesterday with the rest of our whanau and whakapapa coming for saofa'is and funerals and whatnot. She's still the same. Hasn't gained a pound, the pitch. She's here to see her grandma Faleasiu who is critically ill. I like Faleasiu. I used to go and talk to her at Safua and she'd be like, "O ai oe?" and I reply, "O a'u o Nydia, le afafige o Faali'i." She would then ask, "O ai Faali'i?" "O Faali'i o le uso a Tiatia." Ring any bells? Tiatia was her husband. Click!

Jody brought me the baby sling I asked for. Yay! I was so habby I could gry. Hehe.

I have been trying to get into the http://elections.samoa.ws and I farken can't. It can't be our I.T. guys blocking it, because that would be a serious violation of my rights, dammit. I want to see my cousin Galuvao Viliamu Sepulona's results. Remember the one I voted for, who lost? Well, after the recount with all the special votes, and eliminating people who voted twice (only in Samoa), he won!

I have a headache. It's all the walking out of the full-blast air conditioned office to the humidity outside to have a smoke. I'm not saying it's the smoke, else I would've had constant headaches for the past 5 years. And I don't.

Today is Wednesday and it's PAY DAY. And it's drinking day. It's been a whole three days since I last imbibed alcohol and my body is complaining. Or more like my brain is complaining and my body is relieved. Heh. My babysitter will be disappointed. She wanted to go to bingo tonight. Well I was not bay you for the pingo my tear.

Wondering what to do for Easter. Probably go to the beach and take Tino for her first official swim. She loves her baths so she'll have a blast with this!

There's a lady here at work who is constantly feeding me. Like she can't see that I don't need anymore feeding. She brought sausages and faalifu taro this morning. At lunch she had chips. And now she's got saimin. If she was gonna feed me, she could've at least brought something I'd like...like steak. Lol.

I'm off now to do some photocopying. My hubby asked if I could photocopy some papers for him. Okay, how many? 250. TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY?!! What, are you printing out test papers for the entire farken school?? He's a teacher, remember. *sigh* So I'm gonna do half now, and hold a Virgin Blue contract (300 pages thick) at the top so that if anyone asks, I'm making a copy of the contract. Haha.

A normal Sunday

2006-04-10T10:58:00.000-11:00

I woke up on Sunday morning with a splitting headache, thanks to some unknown labelled whiskey bottle with 43% alcohol we drank the night before. My baby was talking and squealing in her cot, and she was looking for company. I wasn't in a condition for goo goo gaa gaa and carried her to the babysitter. Poor baby. I fell asleep and woke up again at 10AM.

I took baby over for a 5-minute visit to Gramma and Grampa and dropped off their toonai. Also dropped off the toonai for the faifeau at Malie. I always wonder why we bother, when the guy has a hundred other umus to choose from. I imagine our umu (with a $40 fish) being fed to their dogs, and the taro and fa'i to the pigs. My husband says it doesn't matter. It is the congregation's duty to feed their church minister. So now you know why faifeaus roll up to the pulpit. Congregations fatten them up like prize pigs. Our faifeau is stick-thin because the dude lives on Rothmans. I would think he'd appreciate a basket of cigarettes far more.

When we got back home from Siusega, everyone had already eaten toonai. Thanks for waiting guys. Like you couldn't wait an extra 10 minutes huh. Chee was already flat out on the floor, his stomach distended from all that mamoe. If I had known, I would've eaten at Siusega. They were having roast chicken, better looking mamoe, and pancit. Instead, I sat down and tucked in to supo mamoe - the water discoloured from all the melted fat, and fried fish also swimming in oil.

After lunch, Chee and the other three cousins Mapu, Sione and Sio all went to sleep in the front fale, all positioning their mats to get the sea breeze. The other cousin Gordon went across the road to a friend's house. He said he was going to return his book. I didn't know Gordon read? Meanwhile, his pregnant wife, Nele went to sleep in their room, and left their children aged 6, 4 and 2 outside to play. The 6-year old was glued to the TV. The 4 and 2 years olds were playing and soon enough, the Master 2 started screaming and Master 4 ran off to hide. Their mother came out, screamed at them both, smacked Master 4 with her shoe and because Master 2 was still screaming, she smacked him too. Then, because she was on a roll, she threw the shoe at Master 6 and told him off for watching television. Tino was sitting on my lap watching the whole scene and peacefully sucking on her dummy. I hope this doesn't affect her later on in life. This is not the sort of environment I would like Tino to grow up in...filled with violence - smacks, and shoe throwing and screams. Although Tino is the youngest and is still very much a baby, she's the one who cries the least. She's quite a happy baby and is not affected by all the shouting that goes on. Well not yet anyway.

The school boys in the family, Esekielu and Neemia (whose parents clearly did alot of Bible reading) set out their homework on the table to do. Nele, the pregnant mama sat down to watch, with Master 2. I was helping Neemia with his English homework. The boy has difficulties with understanding the words which I learnt back in Year 5. I blame this on poor quality of education in district schools. He used to go to school at Malie primary. Now he is at Avele. I was teaching him how to pronounce the word "tired". I told him it was like saying taea, only at a "d" at the end. He kept repeating it until he got it. Nele interrupted and said "o le mea ga e ke kaea ai, e ke le iloa gagu leaga e ke valea!" and hit him over the head. This continued for another 30 minutes. I would teach him, and the poor boy would try his best to learn, amidst Nele's scolding and unencouraging words. I realized he wouldn't learn a thing with this cackling hen, so I told him to leave it and we'd work on it tonight.

Tino and I went to asleep on a mat next to her father whose snores were causing cracks in the beams of the roof. Tino didn't mind. This is a familiar sound she has heard since the day she was born. It's actually comforting. The droning helps to make her sleep. After about an hour, she woke up. Master 2 was screaming again. Master 4 took his bubble gum. I was ready to throw both of them in the sea out back. My hang over was killing me and I needed sleep, dammit! I took Master 2, soothed him and distracted him with one of Tino's toys. Master 4 stayed as far away as possible, chewing his stolen gum. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. He tiptoed to me and peered at my half-closed eyes. I sat up quickly, grabbed his arm, and smacked his bum and sent him on his tearful way to his mama. Hehe.

Oh what I would give for some peace and quiet with no crying kids and screaming mamas. Just the sound of the waves lapping on the shore outside our room, my husband's snores, and my baby cooing at her mobile. The simple things. No dramas.

Emotional low

2006-04-05T15:37:00.000-11:00

Just a little diversion from politics. For now. Hehe.

Over the weekend something happened to me which has made me quite depressed. Something which should not have happened had I been more aware. But no, I was too busy with work, motherhood, social activities, elections and blogging to notice that this something was happening to me. I brushed it aside thinking it was just normal. Well it wasn't. Not in the least.

As a result, I have been sick. I've been feeling tremendously weak both physically and emotionally. I've been feeling wave upon wave of nausea, pounding one-sided migraine-like headaches, sharp stomach pangs and blurred vision. And instead of getting some rest, I went out on Saturday and drank my sorrows away, only to be called up by my sister-in-law to take her to the airport at 12 midnight. We got home at 1:30AM. Instead of being stoned drunk, flying high in the sky on a sea of alcoholic bliss, I was sober and memories came flooding back.

Regrets. Did this "something" that happened to me cause any regrets? Yes and no. Yes because it's a part of me which has literally been washed away and I am left with this empty hollow feeling. And no because it wasn't something I needed at this point in my life anyway. But still I grieve and I am sad and wondering if it will affect me later on in my life.

I have no more tears to shed. I feel dried up, empty and the only thing which is holding me together at the moment (apart from blogging and eating as often as possible at Mari's) is coming home to my baby whose smile lights up her beautiful face as soon as she sees me. It's a reward like none other.

And you're like "what the hell is she on about?" Lol.

More election hype...

2006-04-05T09:06:00.000-11:00

Okay okay, this is my last post on this. Can you blame me, it's what every man and his dog are talking about in Samoa at the moment. The election excitement has died down, and the aftermath of court cases and sore loser rage and the counting of special votes begins. Oh joy.

Election results showed 6 seats taken up by independent candidates - those with no affiliations to any party. In fact, they joined together to form a "group of Independents". Note, a 'group' and not a 'party'. They are:

Lealailepule Rimoni Aiafi (Faleata West)
Va'ai Papu Vailupe (Vaisigano #1)
Motupua'a Dr Aisoli Va'ai (Vaisigano #2)
Toluono Fetineia'i Toluono (Palauli)
Solamalemalo Keneti Sio (Sagaga Le Falefa)
Tuilo'a Anitele'a (Gagaifomauga #3)

Now apparently they are trying to join the HRPP. You think if SDUP was the winning party, they'd still be wanting to join HRPP? Go figure. As Independents, they're hanging in limbo waiting for the right party to grab on to. HRPP isn't stupid. And this theory of mine is confirmed by the fact that they have rejected their request to join the party. Teehee. Their reason is that "morally, it is wrong for the group to want to be part of the HRPP now, after promising their constituencies that they would remain as independents", says Mulitalo Siafausa, spokesman for the party. Ahem, like what would they know about morals? They, who abuse power, buy new vehicles each time a newer model of the landcruiser toyota is shown at Asco Motors just because it looks better than the less-than-a-year-old prado they already drive (thank you taxpayers), have the roads leading up to their houses tarsealed (thank you taxpayers), have the average mark for getting a scholarship at UPY put down so that their children who got 60 can go to Fiji (thank you taxpayers), and more unaccountable and untransparent dealings which go on everyday unnoticed. But I digress. Back to the issue at hand. They have been rejected because they are fickle and HRPP sees that. If they really wanted to join the party, why didn't they do so before the elections? Why only now that they've won?

So the Independents have been rejected. However, two of them, Solamalemalo (he sure did) Keneti Sio (sound familiar? he's a former Manu Samoa player) and Tuiloa Anitelea signed an agreement with HRPP, prior to the elections, that should they win, they could join the party. So that's two down. What about the other four? They seem desperate to join HRPP for obvious reasons - so their constituencies can benefit from government, and being the high profile politicians they are, they could well be made cabinet ministers. And what, I ask you, could be better than that?? Apart from being Tuilaepa himself?

So yesterday, the main matais of the constituency of Vaisigano No. 1 went to the HRPP headquarters and formally asked that their candidate and MP Vaai Papu Vailupe be accepted by the party. Mulitalo said they would give their answer next Tuesday 11 April. Today, Palauli will be bringing their MP Toluono Feti in for acceptance too. So how about it, Rimoni? After being kicked out of the Airport Authority, you still wanna join the party which had you removed? And Dr Aisoli. You weren't part of the doctors' strike were you?

Politics. You gotta love it. It's what makes the world go round.

HRPP wins, corruption prevails

2006-04-04T09:36:00.000-11:00

The result of the Samoan General Elections for 2006? HRPP once again wins, with a majority of 35 seating members out of a 49-seat parliament. SDUP, the opposing party obtained 10 seats, leaving 5 independent members.

And my candidate? He came second with 412 votes. Leota Lu II (current seating member) won with 437 votes. Note that these are preliminary results, and special votes are yet to be counted, some time this week. Who knows, my cousin might get lucky and beat that old fart Leota Lu II. It's time for a change. The guy has been there too long and is getting conservative in his ideas. Not to mention all the money for the constituency must be going into his gas service station, general store and hotel/beach fales.

There were a few upsets. Two cabinet ministers were usurped by new up and coming aspiring and probably corrupt politicians. Minister of Justice, Gaina Aukusitino (391) was beaten by female competitor Tuilo'a Anitele'a (464) in the district of Gagaifomauga #1. Minister of Police and Prisons, Ulu Vaomalo Ulukini (610) was ousted by new candidate Lealailepule Rimoni Aiafi (750), a well known face in the media (and Tropicana), former Airport Authority manager kicked out for embezzlement, stealing, corruption, whatever you wanna call it. So hang in there Ulu, because when Lealailepule's court case for these charges is held, he may be holding a seat in jail instead of parliament.

Another new face is Laaulialemalietoa Leuatea Polataivao, his surname a household name in politics. His father was Polataivao Fosi Schmidt, a founding member of HRPP, former member of parliament and Minister for Labour. He retired from politics in 2001 when he became sick and was taken to NZ for dialysis treatment. He died in December 2005, and one of his last wishes was that his son Laauli become an MP and join his party, HRPP. Laauli would have made his father proud, and is now an MP from his father's constituency Gagaifomauga #3.

There they are, Polataivao Fosi in the middle, and his wife Ipu on the left, and their son Laauli in black. Thank you event polynesia for the stolen pic...hehe.

Right now, HRPP members are camping at their headquarters at Mulinuu, no doubt creating their cabinet and deciding on who will be Prime Minister. Hmm...which politician will be corrupt and crooked enough to make PM? Oh the choices, the choices!!

Meanwhile, schools are being burned to the ground, people shot, houses stoned because of the election results. People are unhappy about candidates who have won. Why burn the schools? Why not burn the candidates house? Why not shoot the candidate? If you're gonna do something drastic, don't do it piecemeal. Go the distance! Do the works! Burn the parliament house. Make the headlines, and not just page 3 in the Observer.

Samoan General Elections 2006

2006-03-30T14:58:00.000-11:00

It's tomorrow. Friday. And it's a holiday, so thank my freedom to vote for that! Who's going to win, is on everyone's mind at the moment. Wars are raging between various political parties, and the headlines of the Samoan Observer tell of threats by some political candidates to sue others for libel/slander whatever, candidates found with drugs, candidates promoting a ban on mamoe and pipi which is like Samoan staple food and lots more rubbish. It's every dog and his bone out there. Everyone wanting to be the Prime Minister and rule the world.

Voting. It's about exercising your freedom to be able to choose your government, and the people who will lead this country hopefully into a brighter tomorrow, for our children, and our children's children. Heal the world. I sometimes wonder how my one vote out of 150,000 others will make the difference. It makes all the difference, they say. That one vote could stand between your candidate winning or losing.

Tuilaepa Sailele, our current PM is running unopposed. So he bought the constituency, so what. His hand reaches far and wide. On the positive side, he has done a lot for his itumalo. The roads have improved, electricity, water and all basic necessities are covered. And money under the table to feed their children who run bare and naked out on the rocky beaches of Lepa. I don't know the guy personally but the general view is that he is an a*hole. He is arrogant, rude and has a general 'don't-give-a-damn' attitude about him. The man sits at a function where people are making speeches to him and his government, and he's reading the paper and tapping his foot impatiently. For someone with his vast experience as our country's leader, he needs lessons in diplomacy. He's made countless of rude, derogatory remarks which have flared the sensibilities of many, and caused anger amongst other leaders in the South Pacific. And yet he is still our number man. The Top Gun. The Big Man. As he is unopposed, the question which remains is, will he retain Prime Ministership???

A friend of mine whose father is running for the elections is busy organizing things for tomorrow. Cars to pick up the voters, take them to the poll booths, bring them back to their base of operations. Food to feed them with and keep them happy voters. Tents to shade them from the sun. Money to reward them with on their way home. So campaigning is not allowed so absolutely NO bribery. But this is Samoa. People thrive on bribery. You can almost see dollar signs in every person's eyes. You manipulate your candidate and your candidate manipulates you. Believe me, I know. I've been through it before, when my dad ran for the elections in 2001. Needless to say, he lost. We just weren't rich enough and we were too trusting. Who would've known our own blood relatives would stab us in the back. Like I said, it's a dog eat dog world we have here in Samoa. So when my friends moan and groan about what they have to do for their father or mother who is in the elections, I understand. Been there, done that and can do without the stress.

I'm voting in the constituency of Gaga'emauga #2. I think. Or is it #3? My cousin Galuvao Viliamu Sepulona is running under the SDUP (the opposition) umbrella. The current seating member is Leota Lu II, also another relative. He owns Vacations Beach Fales in Manase. He is a HRPP man. I want to vote for my cousin, but I don't like his party for many many reasons best left unsaid. Suffice it to say they have lost the point, and it's about badmouthing the HRPP as much as possible to make them unpopular with the people. For fark's sake, acknowledge the good the government has done, and work on that for further improvements. The government has done this, and we can do it better by doing this, this and this.

I want to go on but it's 4:23PM...time to get ready to go home. Vote HRPP!

I am humbled

2006-03-27T14:26:00.000-11:00

I feel tired. Tired of being a bitch. It's true...I am, but I've decided to relinquish my title. The benefits just aren't worth the headaches. I have looked back at my life and liked only half of what I saw. The rest is a mess. Half the time I have been a hypocrite and pretended to be something I am not...and probably never will be. I have said things about people I shouldn't have said, and have butted my face into other people's business. God I make myself out to be a very evil person. I don't think I'm evil. Just an ignorant selfish cold-hearted bitch. And geez, did I get carried away or what! Now I just wanna slap myself in the face and snap out of it. This is not me. Yeah right, says the little voice in my head. Or maybe I am just too ambiguous to figure out what is me, and what is not.

A friend emailed me and gave me some advice on my life...the "to dos" and "not to dos". I should consider how people feel before I write nasty things about them. I can argue this one though. These people should have considered that before they said even nastier things about me. But no, that's wrong too. I should just let sleeping dogs lie. It's not about an eye for an eye and this isn't the Biblical age. My friend said it's about patience and respect. Let them go the wrong away and in the end, it's they who are making the mistakes, not you. Which is true. But I'm in a state of denial so I can't really see that. You see, I talk alot and write a lot of my thoughts down. I may write scathing comments about people, but that's me. One of my worst faults, being judgemental. Usually it's not about one person in particular, but more the situation and the issues brought about by a person's actions. I take examples from real people I know and build on it, and write my feelings or thoughts on the issue. Someone read something I wrote and said that it sounded strikingly familiar to her life. And she was hurt that I would write something bad about her, especially as I don't know her. Shucks, go read "Go Fug Yourself"...imagine how those people feel. Lol. But anyway, she said it made her feel very small. Believe me girl, no one is as small as the person writing this stuff. Anyway, my friend who was giving me advice said this: "Just smile if you have something bad to say, it's so much less work than being hurtful. Life is too short, so make it a good one!" Apt words. It's hard to change my ways, but I can try. Fake it until you make it, huh.

Meanwhile I will continue on being a bitch, but on a smaller scale. Hehe.

In other news, I have a new babysitter! Thank ye gods. She's tiny though and I'm afraid she might collapse after 2 minutes of carrying Tino. She looks about 10 kilos heavier than my baby. Hehe. Oh well, I'm just thankful I've found someone to look after my baby girl while I come to work to blog.

I've been invited for a night out tonight. And it's a Monday. I'm seriously thinking about it. We'll see.

Chronic headaches

2006-03-24T10:48:00.000-11:00

I have a headache. It popped out of nowhere. I think it's a result of hard concentration at the monitor while playing the bubble game. I am a die hard fan of bubble games. I love 'em and donwnload new ones every chance I get. I haven't a good headache in a long time. I've had the occasional small, slight ineffective headache. Today's one is a winner. Straight to my temples and throbbing like a bitch. There are a few things I can do which will either ease the pain, or worsen it. I can eat, have a smoke, drink more coffee, take a walk or take some panadol. I'm still mulling over the choices.

I hope my headache doesn't persist until this afternoon. I have plans. We might go to Bora Bora for drinks after work. Not the island but a bar down Lalovaea side. We went there last week and it was very nice. It's a nice setting, cosy, almost like sitting in your own backyard having a few drinks. Except you're being served, you get fresh poke asi and banana chips with dip, and you're paying for it. The occasion? We're celebrating our friend Sita and her new job with a major telecommunications company, as Manager for Finance. I know, lucky pitch. Well it's 50% congratulating Sita, and 50% we need a drink and TGIF!

And now for the dilemma. Where to leave Tino for the evening? Poor babe, she's probably tired of seeing new faces and wondering where her momma is? She never wonders about her daddy because at the moment, she's not sure if he exists....because for most of the week he's out having a grand old time and has yet to grasp the concept of fatherhood, and babycare....and plain old HELP YOUR WIFE TAKE CARE OF YOUR DAUGHTER!! Yeah he doesn't get that. Yet. But I'm slowly showing him the consequences of not doing all that he should...i.e. I pack my stuff...and Tino's too...and we leave. Simple as that. Hehe. Ehh nah it's not that bad. He loves his baby girl, but he has a problem with prioritizing. And that's where I come in. Lol.

So I still haven't figured who will babysit tonight. Just until around10PM, then I pick her up and we go home to Malie. Probably my mom. Abusing a mother's love now, are we? Hehe.

Meanwhile, it's back to the bubble game. And panadol for my aching head. Have a good weekend all.

Baby dramas

2006-03-22T09:23:00.000-11:00

My babysitter has decided to return to Savaii. Her brother has been kicked out of their village, Taga, and there is no one left to help out in their family. Except her. So she left this morning. Just like that. And I'm all in a flurry trying to look for a replacement. Any offers? Heh. So my poor baby Tino is babysitter-less. Not that she seems to mind. As long as her bottle is on hand at all times and her nappy is changed when required, she doesn't give a damn about babysitters. Right now her grandmomma is taking care of her. She loves it. Yeah it's always nice when it's only part-time. Try looking after her for a week. It won't be all happy, happy, joy, joy after that. Hehe.

So now I'm a wreck. I look and feel it. I think Tino knew her babysitter was leaving and decided to be a royal pain in the ass all night. Or if not, then it was an act of revenge to her momma for putting her to bed early when it wasn't even sleepy time yet, dammit! The easiest way to make her sleep (short of giving her sleeping pills) is to play her favourite song "Rainbow Connection" by Kermit the Frog (ok so it's my favourite song but she coos to it...although how you can coo to a frog's voice, I will never understand) and carry her in circles around the room and then poof! She's out like a light. And then I'm running around the house like a headless chicken looking for a lighter so I can have a smoke before she wakes up. And when she does wake up, it's a mad rush to the bathroom to brush my teeth and use up half the mouthwash bottle.

It's amazing to watch a baby grow. In the span of 4 months, she has blossomed into a very personable, happy albeit moody, hunger buster little baby. She can turn over onto her tummy like it ain't no thang, talks a mile a minute...all ga ga goo goo (blame it on all the "Radio Ga Ga" - Freddy Mercury I listened to when I was preggers), drinks her milk like it's her last meal ever, smiles and every now and then gives an outright laugh and shows her pinky gums, and she's getting fatter and longer and heavier. Who needs the gym? I can just carry Tino all day and develop muscles just like Niusila Opeloge. Heh. She squeals alot and can bring the house down with her screams. I'm seriously considering buying myself ear muffs. When she's in a bad mood, she'll twist and turn and scratch at anything she can get her hands on...usually her ears...which now look like they barely survived the war in Iraq. She's a little devil, that one. I have no idea where she gets her temper from. Must be the Chu Ling side. I can feel the daggers now. Har har. Ia pugi laia.

In-laws, toys and tears...

2006-03-15T15:54:00.000-11:00

They say when you marry someone, you marry their entire family. How true. My husband has 10 sisters and 5 brothers. The first time he told me about them, I felt sick. I was so worried about meeting the entire bunch. When I finally did, it wasn't so bad. I'm sure they said I was fat and ugly and whatever as soon as they turned their backs. I don't mind. I've heard worse. It doesn't matter if they think I'm not good enough for their brother...as long as I know I'm good enough for their brother and I don't give a shite about the rest of it. I quite like most of his sisters. We've had dinners, drink-ups, nights out, beach trips together. Pretty down-to-earth people. When they came for Christmas last year, each one of them brought a whole lot of gifts for my baby Tino. Which is why I say she has a larger wardrobe than I do. Because she really does. She can change her clothes 3 times throughout the day and still go through the week without having worn the same thing twice. Spoilt brat.

One of my sisters-in-law came over last week. She lives in Sydney and is married to a faifeau. As I expected, she didn't bring me anything. But she brought toys for Tino. One of the toys was a musical play gym. Tino loves it. She lies on her back looking at all the little toys hanging in front of her face. She likes the toy with a big mirror. Vanity, Tino is thy name. Lol. She tries to punch the toys with her fists and watches them swing to and fro.

Yesterday, Tino's 4-year-old cousin wanted to play too. Okay you can play, I told him. I went off to do something and when I got back, Tino was lying on her tummy, head up happily watching the curtains. The cousin meanwhile had broken off one of the hanging toys and was hitting Tino on the bum with it. Just bloody great. Okay so Tino didn't seem to mind. But I did. I looked around to see if anyone was looking, picked up the cousin and boxed his ears. Lightly of course. He began screaming. I didn't care, he could go blab to mommy if he wanted but he needed to be taught a lesson about breaking toys and bodily harm. And he's four. Lol. Of course his mother was like "baby, o ai ga fasia oe?" Answer: "O Nida". I explained to her why I'd smacked him and then she turned around and smacked him again. What a stupid woman. Poor kid started bawling his eyes out and she's like "Uma! Uma loa!" Wack! Another hit on the head. "Se UMA!" So typical of Samoan mothers. They're naughty so you smack them. Fine. And then they cry, so you hit them again to make them shut up. And it goes on and on...cry, wack, cry, smack, until the child is unconscious and can't cry anymore. Fool of a mother. And of all places, she hits him over the head. And you wonder why some children become brain damaged early in their lives. So to get back to my story, I picked up the poor cousin and took him back to the room. I talked to him and told him why it was bad (what I should've done in the first place but typical Samoan mother instincts took over) to do what he did. He nodded tearfully and all was right with the world.

Ode to Da Life

2006-03-15T14:18:00.000-11:00

I was flipping through Pacific magazine for March 2006. Front cover was on "Fragile Fiji". Yes we all know about crazy old Commander Frank Bainimarama and trying to create a military government. Dude, it's been done before. Get over it and apply for retirement already. Anyway, there was an article on Pacific Arts featuring a Samoan writer and poet I haven't heard of before.

Tusiata Avia is her name. She's currently at the University of Hawaii as the Fullbright Creative New Zealand Pacific Writer in residence. Any mention of Samoa? Nope. Heh. Here is a poem by this lady which I quite like.

ODE TO DA LIFE

You wan da Ode?
Ok, I give you
Here my Ode to da life
Ia, da life is happy an perfek
Everybodys smile, everybodys laugh
Lot of food like Pisupo, Madonal
an Sapasui
Even da dog dey fat
You hear me, suga? Even da dog!

An all da Palagi dey very happy to us
Dey say Hey come over here to Niu Sila
Come an live wif us an eat da ice cream
An watch TV2 evry day
Days of Our Lives evry evry day
Hope an Beau an Roman an
Tony De Mera

Dat how I know my Ode to da life
An also Jesus - I not forget Jesus
He's say to us Now you can
Do anyfing you like
Have da boyfrien, drink da beer
Anyfing, even in front of your fadda
An never ever get da hiding
Jus happy an laughing evry time.

Cool eh? It's a mix of Samoanised English, Hawaiian pidgin English and umm plain old English. Lol. "Jus happy an laughing evry time" really does describe typical Samoan village life...when you're not stressed with faalavelaves, family and church life.

Strike!

2006-03-09T15:26:00.000-11:00

As I am writing this, the Polynesian Airlines Board is closeted in the board room with several members of the staff. Why? The staff are presenting their grievances to the Board regarding staff severance/redundancy packages.

Background

As of November 1, 2005 Polynesian Airlines handed over its long-haul jet operations to Virgin/Pacific Blue in a joint venture signed between Virgin Blue and the Government of Samoa as Polynesian Airlines is state-owned. This was in the hope that the airline services would be run efficiently and economically, in line with the low cost carrier strategy and cost base. Which really just meant the Samoan Government was cutting their losses and letting Virgin Blue do the dirty work, as well as boost tourism. You may have read about it in your local paper.

In effect, at least 200 or more of Polynesian (we'll call it PAL) employees were made redundant, as they were no longer required for the operation of the company (despite many of them being long-serving staff). They were awarded redundancy packages which consisted of about 5 weeks of extra pay. Government set aside $2.4 million for these packages alone. Yes 2.4 million.

Staff Questions

In late January 2006 two managerial positions were advertised to the public. The employees who formerly held these positions were given their redundancy packages weeks earlier. They reapplied. Interviews were held. These same two staff members were re-appointed.

Now what's wrong with that, you may ask. Well the staff were initially informed that once you have received your redundancy, you cannot, repeat, cannot reapply with PAL until two years have passed. So why were these two exempted from this? There was outrage amongst current staff. Who can blame them? Two years, and yet it looked like they waited a span of two minutes before re-hiring these employees.

The CEO called a staff meeting and explained to us that the reason why these two were re-hired was because they were needed by the company for their specialties. Management sought assistance from the Government who told them that these could be made an exception as they were "highly qualified" for their positions. Let me tell you that this is the first staff meeting which has been called since mid-2005. The staff have been left to read the Observer and find out their fate through the news just like everyone else. Bad management, you say?

Who cares if these people are needed? Why weren't the correct channels used? Why was it that only these two applied and were given interviews? Do you smell something fishy? Are we given a closer view just how untransparent and unaccountable the PAL management, Board and Samoan government is being?

Ultimatum

Staff are pissed off. Very very pissed off. If these people can be given packages, why can't we ALL be given packages as well, and then re-hired. There's $2.4 million allocated to our redundancies for fark's sake. Give us a break. At least let us be rewarded in some way for our service. The simplest form of encouragement like say a pat on the back is never ever given to the staff. Even Yazaki factory workers are treated better!

Bottom line is, it's just not fair. There's some crap going on in channels we don't even understand. Why them, and not us? Why the favouritism? And why are we being kept in the dark.

I have a friend here at work who applied and got a job with Small Business Enterprises with a salary almost double the one he has here at PAL. He then asked HR whether he could be given his redundancy package. Guess what the answer was. Two letters. Which is total bullshit because we know for a fact that four others also got jobs elsewhere, asked for redundancy and got it. Simple as that. Whatever happened to equality in the workplace?

So right now, about 9 staff members are in talks with the Board. If we are not all given our packages, treated fairly and all that union crap, we go on strike. Fuck the airline. We've got bills to pay and mouths to feed. We don't need this shit.

Gee. Fiesty aren't we?

Not that I'm really complaining. I just got a raise. Pugi!

A drunken conversation

2006-03-08T09:45:00.000-11:00

Yesterday afternoon my hubby and his two friends John and Meta decided to go to Bad Billys and attempt to win the pool prize of a $50 bar tab. Just great. So much for quality family time. I was instructed to go home and come back to pick their sorry asses up at 9PM.

When I entered Bad Billys at 9PM, I could see the three of them dancing around the pool table like a bunch of old hags around a cauldron. They were even cackling. Oh God, I thought. Not another night of drunken promises and "I loving you baby". I waited for them to finish the tournament. My hubby went down in the final round. He kept saying "Sorry baby. I'm sorry I lost. I lost because." Burp. Because what, I asked him. "Because I love you!" he answered.

On the way home the three boys were having a very interesting loud conversation. It went something like this:

Meta: "You know. You know what that centre, what was his name? Kennedy! Kennedy Sio. He said to Frank Bunce, he said 'Franky, you know why you left the Manu Samoa? Begoz you have no heart."

Cheeku: "Begoz you have no balls. Here is my ball! Take it you shit fucken shit"

John: "Se kefe. He said 'KEFE you muderfugger shit'"

Meta: "Shit se no! Se listen! He said 'Frank take my heart because yours is weak!'"

John: "And Frank says, 'Fank you for your heart you kefe!'"

Cheeku: "Ufa ua ou fia 'ai"

So we drove to Siaosi to buy food, since we looked everywhere for Pinati's and couldn't find it. Where the heck did they relocate to??

John: "All you motherfuckers get outside and buy my food. Shit"

Meta: "Kefe you go and get my mamoe you shit"

After more of this, John ended up buying the food.

On the way home:

Cheeku: "Kefe aua le kuua le meaai i luga o le gofoa lou shit"

John: "Shuddup. The chair is waterproof. So no food go inside the chair you stupid"

Meta: "Who's stupid? I'm not stupid you...you!"

John: "I'm not talking at you, your ugly dog shit fucken. I miss my son"

Meta: "What son? You never have a son. That's my son"

Cheeku: "No, I have a daughter"

John: "Oh fuck. Fuck you. And you. And you too you stinky shit."

Meta: "Kefe, aua e ke mimika i le pipi a Kelisa"

Cheeku: "That's not your pipi you fucken."

John: "UFA! Aua ke mimika i le pipi e pule ai au. If you don't have a wife you shit fucken you shuddup. Shuddup. That my wife, she my wife and one son you shit."

Meta: "Sole, you have sum clothes at your house and I sleep with you?"

John: "Komo. Ka ke le koe momoe."

Meta: "Why? We can fufu."

John: "Leai e pipilo lou muli you stinky ass shits"

Meta: "Se komo bring my phone I leave it in your house and we sleep"

John: "Look you shit. You want me I smack your asss?"

Cheeku: "No leave alone his ass. Stinky shit fucken ass"

Meta: "Oh you stupid fool. You know anything? You know?"

Cheeku: "I KNOW! Kefe! I know begoz I am clever than you! Stupid fucken."

John: "Meta. Meta. If you don't have a wife begoz your ass is shit, then you shuddup. You don't have chudren begoz you is fucken shit fuck!"

Meta: "I have five daughters in Australia you kefe. Beautiful palagis. Beautiful."

John: "See we lost the piliaki begoz your moekolo eyes can't see the ball and then what? And then we lose! We lost. What a fucken waste of shit."

Finally, we reached John's house and said goodbye.

John: "Shhhh. Aua ke pisa. Meta kefe. Don't talk loud"

Meta: "E a? Ke palaai? You afraid for your father-in-law? You scared?"

John: "Kapugi lou guku lou shit. Kapugi. O ai e pule i le eleele gei. Me!"

Meta: "Then why do we have to keep quiet?"

John, in a loud whisper: "Kefe. You shuddup you don't know a fing your shit. Aumai la'u meaai."

And thus ended their drunken conversation. Despite their state, they were amazingly abe to cover quite a range of topics from rugby to food to upholstery to their offspring to genitals.

Just another normal drunk night out with the boys.

Are you reading this Reesa? LOL.

I have never been more relieved!

2006-03-07T15:32:00.000-11:00

For the past 5 or so weeks, I have been absolutely petrified. I've been checking my calendar and counting and recounting and counting once more, to make sure I've got my days straight. Have I been careless, I ask myself over and over. Arghhhhh I don't want to be pregnant...AGAIN!!

After I had my baby, it felt as if an enormous burden had been lifted off my shoulders, or out of my stomach for that matter. I could finally smoke! Drink! Have sex! Tie my own shoelaces! Eat less! Wear my old clothes! Have more sex! Party! See my toes! Not in that necessary order of course. But it was a relief to be out of bondage, so to speak. I made a vow to myself, that I wouldn't have another in at least the next 4 years. That I would see a doctor straight away about contraception.

And then I forgot. I gave birth to my baby towards Christmas. Then I was caught in the madness of Christmas shopping, parties, family coming over, everyday Malie dramas, and of course, my baby. Contraception was not a priority at the time. "Bah! I won't get pregnant!" I told myself. My mama, being mama-like, reminded me a great many times about going to the Family Planning clinic for help. And me being the prodigal daughter, brushed her reminders aside. Everytime we'd have sex, I'd tell my hubby whilst in the throes of ecstasy, "Cum outside baby, cum outside!" And he would ask confusedly "Outside where? Why do you want to go outside? I thought you liked this?" Lol.

3 months later, I still hadn't taken my lazy ass to get a simple birth control pill from the clinic. And I was scared. I realized I hadn't gotten my period since God knows when! I couldn't even remember. Oh please Lord! I prayed fervently that I wouldn't be pregnant. Not now. I could imagine God saying: "Oh so now you want my help. After I sent a thousand reminders through your mother!" I told my hubby of my fears and how I was seriously thinking about aborting it, when I was 100% certain I was pregnant. Of course it was in the heat of the moment with fear with its hands tightly around my throat. I could never ever kill my child. Yeah yeah, save us the abortion speech. My hubby was adamantly against it anyway. What would he know? He wasn't about to carry another baby in the space of a year. All he did was put that thing in, and I had to suffer for it. The cry of womankind. Lol.

And then today, I was saved. I got my period!! Never have I been so happy to see it. I am in a state of euphoria right now. I feel like celebrating! I want a black Russian. And a QF. And then maybe a few more QFs. I'm not pregnant! I'm...I'm...*sniff*...not...*gulp*...p-r-e-g-n-a-n-t!! Oh thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Another drawn out weekend

2006-03-06T11:09:00.000-11:00

I spent Sunday at Siusega with the whanau. Woke up extra early to go to the Fish Market. This is my first trip to the market since God knows when. Usually I let my hubby go buy the fish while I wait in the car and nurse my hangover. As usual, the market was packed, and worse now because the market has been temporarily moved to the Westec while they rebuild the old one. It's a unqiue sight. Outside the building were tables lined up on either side of the path, filled with fa'ausi - taro cubes in a sugary sauce, suafa'i - errr a banana broth? lol, more fa'ausi, Chinese cabbage, tomatoes, Sunday Samoa Observer, and more. You walk up the steps into the actual fish market, and almost stumble over sleeping bodies of children lying on mats. What the ? Where do these children come from? I realize these are the children of the leoleo po - nightwatch man. But to sleep right in the midst of the bustling crowds, with the stench of fish blood filling their nostrils. Ugh. Poor children. The market is jammed with people eager to get a good fish for a good price. There are flies everywhere attracted to the fishy smell. The concrete floor is wet and muddy and my seevae kosokoso is submerged. I have the sudden urge to scream out in a girly voice "Oh my God. Ewww! Ewww!" There is fish everywhere you turn. They look delicious. And crabs lined up in rows, watching you with their beady little eyes. And lobster. My stomach growled. Yummy. How much, I asked. $30 for a lobster. My stomach was silent. Hehe. We bought a string of small fish - pone - which is great for frying, an anae for my parents, and a filoa for the faifeau. Total $55.

Tino was being very very cute probably because she was happy to be with Nana and Papa. I'd hold her up and she'd dribble down blobs of saliva and squeal with delight. She was making so much noise and cooing to herself. So funny that girl. And it took me almost the entire day to put her to sleep. And then it wasn't funny anymore. Hehe.

Looks like me, doesn't she? Fat cheeks, big nose and all. I love my lil baby girl.

And in other news, Wellington Hurricanes lost to the Cheetahs. Cheetahs from where again? I almost cried watching the game. It was painful. Painful knowing in the final minutes of the game that the Canes were going to lose. What the hell went wrong? Did they under-estimate the Cheetahs just because they're a new team of nobodies? And now Tana's out for the rest of the season from a grade 1 ligament tear whatever that is, but it sounds nasty. And dammit Piri Weepu was pissing the hell outta me. Eh...oh well, they're still second on the points table.

Slowly losing it

2006-03-02T15:05:00.000-11:00

Thursday. Slowly we approach the end of the week. And slowly our pockets are emptied as pay day passes us by. And ever so slowly the alcohol bought and imbibed with our pay will leave our system. And then once again, thou shalt be penniless. And where shalt thou go? To NPF to get a loan. The story of our lives. Eat, drink, be merry, and repent.

The week has been uneventful. It has been depressing though. For some unexplicable reason, my guard has been down and I must have had a sign up saying "ATTACK ME NOW! I AM VULNERABLE!" I have heard that some people have been making derogatory comments about me. Then someone I am on bad terms with called my hubby and complained to him about me (like what was he gonna do, come beat me up? Nigga PLEASE). He suggested that perhaps (yes dear be very cautious with your wording) I try to be nicer with what I say about other people, even if they have wronged me. Yes okay, I'll think about trying. All this has made me very very sad. Sad about myself, and the wrath I have incurred. This is unusal. I tend to be a bitch most of the time, brushing all that crap off and being strong. Not this week. It must be Vulnerable Week somewhere in the world and I'm feeling it. The sticks and stones saying is just not working on me right now. So the answer to all this? I should shut my mouth and leave my evil yet fitting words to myself and my blog and never my hi5. Heh. It doesn't help that it's in Samoa huh. A small place where the people I have bad relations with are the same people I meet every day infront of Lucky's, on the road, at Bad Billy's, at Paddles, you get the picture.

I was alerted by a friend to a blog of another friend of mine I have met via this site. She directed me to a post which she said should look very familiar to me. At first when I read it, I thought, "what's familiar? the words are too hard for me". And then on hindsight I realized that it was very similar to something I wrote on hi5 a long time ago. I was flattered almost to the point of preening. Someone read my work and thought it fit enough to be copied (words slightly altered of course) and posted elsewhere. Although you have not acknowledged me my friends, it's all water under the bridge now. I'm nothing but flattered that you read what I write. Thank you for that. And thank you to my very very good, tummy-sticking-out, burger-eating friend for wreaking havoc even though I am a lost cause.

Have a good afternoon/evening people. I'm going to sit on the sea-wall with my bottle of Absolut Vanilla and drink my sorrows away. I'll think of each of you with each glass. And after about 6 glasses, I'll each of think of you too! Heh.

Tournaments...

2006-02-27T10:05:00.000-11:00

The end of a nice relaxing weekend. And now it's back to a boring, drawn-out, sleepless week. But one thing to look forward to. Pay day!! Finally I can have a decent lunch at a decent restaurant. No more packed lunches for me. Until next week that is. Heh.

The Marist Samoa Sevens Tournament was last Saturday 25 Feb 2006. And guess who won? The team that wins every year without fail - Marist! The team the bloody tournament is named after. Okay so they're a good team. A lot of Manu Samoa players play in that team. But give us a break and stop dominating the farken Sevens. Which is the reason why Fiji teams don't come over anymore. What's the point? It's pretty much a foregone conclusion that Marist will win. This year they played the final against SCOPA. You'd think that because they had guys like Simaika Mika and Mark Tanuvasa, they would have a strong chance AND the fact that Marist playmaker Uale Mai aka Vala Tafaoalii was injured. Disappointingly, it wasn't the case. I can't even remember what the score was. Just that Marist won. Oh well, fair is fair. They won. There was no doubt about that.

Went to watch a pool tournament at Bad Billy's last Saturday afternoon. My hubby even entered with John. John the bastard didn't turn up...okay for good reason. He was attending his grandma's funeral. Cheeku won one round and went down in the next. Competition was tough.

At one point I looked around and realized I was the only girl there. Ha. Whoever said pool was a men's game huh? I love watching the game and I especially love playing it. I was a daily customer at Sputniks, near Village Cinemas on Queent St. And I was quite good too. Lol...listen to me go. I hate playing here though coz everyone is watching and I hate an audience. I miss cue clubs where everyone is engrossed in their own table. So anyway, these two very very good pool players won first prize of $500. One of them took his share and escaped (good man) and the other stayed at our table all night shouting drinks. Lucky us!

My parents come back tomorrow. Looks like we'll be returning to the real Malie dramas in a couple of days. *sigh* I'll be missing a full fridge, and a full pantry and a full stomach. At least I'll be losing some weight back in Malie huh. And my poor baby will be subjected to the little monsters at Malie, pulling at her hair and tweaking her nose when I'm not looking. And my violent nature will again be brought to the fore. Oh well, it's been a while since I practised my swinging arm. Heheh.

Ave and Cheeku

2006-02-24T11:40:00.000-11:00

More great pics taken by photographer Mrs Theresa Papalii. Hehe.

Chee-ku with baby Maaveave Camillo at Siusega. Looks like Chee's due soon too. Wearin his Wallabies shirt to watch the Hurricanes game and thinks he's so cool. Har har. Yeah my baby's COOL!

Chee-ku, baby Ave and ME. Yeah me in dire need of a kaele...har har.

My baby girl putting herself to sleep by staring hard at the roof of her little cocoon. Aww just go to sleep baby.

Another one of Chee and Ave. And we thought Chee was white huh? Our double chin's starting to protrude babe.

Growing up so fast

2006-02-23T15:54:00.000-11:00

Some pictures of my beautiful darling bebe Tautinoga Felicity. Ain't she a fat little blob? Heheh.

There's my baby in one of her unpredictable moods. And why is she wearin blue? Coz her pinky cute clothes are too small and the rest are too big. And her aunty conveniently forgot my baby was a girl and gave her boys clothes instead. And that's Reesa's tummy and mine in the background. Oh God I need to go to the gym.

Reesa & baby...a short visit before heading off to get totally wasted. Valentine's Day!

Shaken or Stirred?

2006-02-22T14:00:00.000-11:00

The week started off on a mediocre note. As usual. Work. Work. Blog. Work. Phone. Work. Eat. Smoke. Work. Hi5. Work. Home. It started raining again yesterday evening. What a bummer. It just induces me to sleep in and get to work at 9AM. Like this morning. I hate rain. I hate how it makes me want to do things I can't do. Like sleeping in. Can't do that when I've got to get to work. And sex. Can't do that either now can I? And drinking giant mugs of coffee. Can't unless I want an excessively hyper caffeinated baby. Breastfeeding, remember? Never had such qualms when I was drinking margaritas. And splashing around on the lawn. Can't afford to get sick when I've made plans for the rest of my week and they don't involve runny noses. And read a good book.

An old friend visited me last night. An old old friend whom I have knocked to the bottom of my friends list for reasons better left unsaid. She came to visit baby, she said. Well in my culture, if this is the first time you've come to visit, you bring a gift. It might sound ridiculous, but out of simple courtesy, you do it. Especially if it's your closest friend's baby. Not that I was expecting anything from her, but it's always nice to be surprised. I guess I wasn't surprised huh. She asked if I wanted to go for a ride. Why not? So off we went. And as I anticipated, she began mouthing off all this crap about a mutual friend of ours. You know the one I was ranting and raving about earlier. That one. Apparently she has been calling this old friend of mine, obviously looking for sympathy and support. Now, being the shit stirrer this old friend is, she comes to tell me what has been said and how I'm lucky she hasn't come to smash my face in with a beer bottle or some such rubbish. I didn't say a word. Why bother? This old friend is bound to go back and tell her some concocted story about what I've said about her. I hate people who stir. They have nothing better to do, so they butt into other people's business. The saying "an idle mind is the devil's workshop" comes to mind. So I'll leave it be. And go on my merry way. Unshaken and un-stirred.

Here's me seething and attempting to cool down. Did that shake me up or what?!

It's like I can never win. Something always happens to piss the hell out of me. Think outside the box Nydia, THINK! Think before insanity consumes you! *sigh* I think it's a sign. A sign that I am in need of some spiritual guidance and uplifting. It's been a while since I communed with God. Maybe it will help to guide me in the right direction and make me more patient when shit hits the fan and comes splattering down. On me. Right. Dear God...

A Persisting Headache

2006-02-16T14:27:00.000-11:00

Ok I need to vent. Really, really VENT. My anger. Irritation. Fury if you will.

*inhales very very deeply*

I have a friend whom I mentioned in a previous post. She is driving me up the wall. We had some beef earlier on in the year (yes beef, like cow, beef, cow) and we talked about it. I believe we came to an impasse and that was that. Each person goes her own way and we live happily ever after. Apart. That was fine with me. I miss my friend, but the status of "friend" was long stripped from her after all the shit she did to me...in my face type-shit. So I hit back, in a more subtle way. I wrote about it. I wrote about her and what she did and how I felt. Of course I exaggerated every now and then - it made for a more interesting story, not that affairs weren't interesting enough. So now that we've gone solo, I've been quite relieved. I don't have to think about her and worry about whether she's talking shit behind my back because frankly I don't care now. I was sure she had learned her lesson and was now happily going about her business.

Big farking mistake. A leopard never changes its spots. And neither will she. She is STILL doing it. I feel like pulling my hair out in frustration. She's been calling people and telling them that I've said this, this and that which I sure as hell haven't! What is she trying to do? Start an angry mob? Collect followers with one goal in mind - "to inflict pain on Nydia in every way possible"? Did these "friends" of hers ever realize that the only time she befriends them or renews friendships is when she wants something? This time, a gang to kill Nydia.

*clenches her fists*

What do I do? Absolutely nothing. A friend suggested I call her and ask if the rumors about what she's saying are true. Maybe not. I'm not in the "friendly phone call" frame of mind right now. If I call her now it'll be something alone the lines of "WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN SAYING? HAVEN'T YOU LEARNT YOUR LESSON? DON'T YOU PEOPLE EVER DIE? DIE BITCH, DIE!"

So I don't think that would be a good idea unless I want all hell to break loose and I like to think of myself as a peace-loving person. Peace. Love. Unity. Pass me the weed brah.

She's also been telling her "friends" that they should come and fasi me. Now that is the last and final straw. As soon as I heard that, my sympathy flew out the window. As someone put it, save your drama for your mama coz she's the only one who can love you now. Why doesn't she come and fasi me instead of sending her minions? And why does she think I will tolerate this shit. I have class. I am not going to stoop to the level where brawn rules and the brain remains underutilized. For all her efforts to look like a good, responsible, well-bred young lady, she certainly seems to have forgotten it and lo and behold, we see her true colours. I'd rather settle it like civilize human beings.

And besides, I really do wanna smack her silly upside her head. Didn't her mommy teach her to respect her elders and her aunties?

Now that my rant has dwindled and I have no further spurts of anger to keep it going, it comes down to this. I don't like her. Whatever love I felt for her is truly gone. I'm slightly apprehensive about being "fasi-ed" but hell after reading my life story, you should know that I am more than equipped to handle the jandal and face my shit. I ain't hiding behind a telephone and a bottle of vodka. Girl if you have balls, then you know where to find me. And I have a directory of friends all on speed dial. At least I have friends who've got my back. Right? RIGHT? Lol.

My current state of mind. Smiling with the words "I hate you" plastered all over inside my head.

And you, my dear friend that was? You have your miserable friendless life to go on with. So get on with it.

Spare me your dramas. Life is passing me by while I dwell on your shit.

Post Valetine's and slow recovery...

2006-02-16T11:04:00.000-11:00

Valentine's Day has definitely blown over. Now that the fuss about love and romance has elapsed, we're back to our boring old monotonous lives. I actually miss that ad about how "he soooo completes me!" Then again, maybe not. I'm back to work. Took the day off yesterday to take my baby to the doctor for a check-up. And also to recover from my drinking spree the previous night. Yes Valentine's. I spent the evening with Reesa at On The Rocks while our dear romantic husbands were next door playing pool. Now how's that for a passionate, romance-filled evening for two? There were lovey dovey couples having candlelit dinners, walking past hand in hand, and then there was me and Rees. Two disillusioned married women with the romance obviously gone from their relationships, cackling away while downing cocktails like it was raspberry cordial. After one jug, the cackles turned into giggles and long drawn-out conversations about God-knows-what! I think I revealed enough about my sex life for all passers-by to hear. I shudder at the thought. My hubby would have wrung my neck had he heard my blabbering. We bought cheeseburgers afterward filled with blobs and blobs of mayonnaise. Wither goes thy diet? After consuming these delicious fat-filled greasy burgers, I immediately stuck my head out the car window and deposited the partially-digested burgers onto the streets of Apia. I could just see my hubby shaking his head thinking "what a waste of $10". Stingy bastard. Hehe.

Hey I'm lovin' Lau TV! They showed Commander in Chief, Criminal Minds and Alias all in one night. My penchant for tv series was very much satisfied. Can you tell I've been staying home to watch them? Cocktails move over! The one thing which annoys me though is the ads in-between. I swear they've shown the ads for the Samoatel Malo Card ("buy a Malo vone gard and get docking dooday"), the Super 14 Games ("I wanna get free, I wanna get free!") and Aumaia Sou Manatu ("Samoa o lau fesili poo le a ea sau tali?") a gazillion times!! I've memorized every damn ad. It's either they get more sponsorship for MORE ADS (and more creative, better quality ones too) or stop showing 'em all the time. Dammit! Don't make me tune back to SBC!

I'm hungry. Wonder what's for lunch.

*counts her coins*

Looks like it Peanuts for us today eh.

An uneventful afternoon...well almost

2006-02-14T12:21:00.000-11:00

Omg I'm listening to the crustiest, sappiest, mushiest, vomit-inducing poems I have ever heard, being read out on the radio. Oh please people. Get over it. A simple "I love you" would suffice. And at least learn to pronounce the words of your plagiarized, googled poems before reading 'em out. I cringe every time I hear a fresh voice on the radio. Sounds like Tofiga. At least Tofiga was funny. These people are reducing me to tears. You're ruining my Valentine's for me, dammit.

Ok and this guy strolls into our office, and heads straight for the men's room. I'm like "who the f... are you???" I waited until he came out, and before I could say anything, he went straight to the water cooler and poured his ugly arse a drink. I was like errr stupefied! Absolutely dumbfounded. Hello, this is the corporate head office and who is this pipsqueak waltzing in like it's the public rest room?! So I asked him who the fark he was.

"May I know what you are doing here sir?"

"Oh I am having a drink" in a heavy Arab-ic accent.

No kidding farker.

"Yes but WHO are you and what is your business here?"

"I am ------ and I am the brother of ----- who owns Selprize. You know Selprize?"

Yeah I know Selprize and they make the plastic bags we put our trash in.

"I am here to see the Polynesian Blue people"

Ok well we ain't Polynesian BLUE or didn't you read the sign?

"Sir you need to be in THAT room there and next time you need to use the men's room, there's a public toilet just down the road."

And off he went, totally oblivious of what I was on about. I doubt if he spoke much English either. Dude, you need to ask before you can use stuff. I know you're more used to guns and tanks to get your way back in Iraq, but we are more sticklers for etiquette and good manners. Get it right shithead. I'm trying to enjoy my Valentine's day here and you just gave me a hiccup.

*breathes deeply*

Okay I'm searching desperately for something to make me happy and less prone to violence. Oooh. I know. Here is my lil' "nephew" who's gonna be 3 months next week Thursday.

Baby Ma'ave'ave Camillo Masoe Papalii Taimalelagi (what a mouthful huh!)

Isn't he a cutie?! He's got such a beautiful smile and he's developed so much in the space of 3 months. He's just 5 days younger than my baby Tino but he seems older because his motor skills are more developed and he smiles more! Tino is more moody. Must get it from me. Heh.

Valentine's D-d-day

2006-02-13T15:53:00.000-11:00

I'm listening to what I consider a great song: "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. I can't describe the feeling I get when I listen to this. It's soothing. It makes me relax after a hectic, ridiculously busy day. Thank you Star FM for the song. Just the kind of therapy I needed. And now some girl is vacuuming my office and I can't hear myself think. Of all times, why couldn't the silly bitch vacuum after work. Can't even use the phone.

So it's Valentine's Day. Love and kisses all around! Candy, flowers and chocolates are a favorite this time of year, exchanged between loved ones (or lusted ones?). This day has never been a big deal for me. Somehow I managed to never have a partner during Valentines. Now that I see what people get for Valentines, I should have held on to a guy until after that special day. Silly, silly me. So here's a bit of info for ya, if you're like me and don't know what the hell it's all about.

There's some controversy regarding Saint Valentine, for whom the famous day is named. Archaeologists, who unearthed a Roman catacomb and an ancient church dedicated to St. Valentine, are not sure if there was one Valentine or more. Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred on February 14 -- at least two of those in Italy during the 3rd century. The most popular candidate for St. Valentine was a 3rd century Roman priest who practiced Christianity and performed secret marriages against direct orders from Emperor Claudius II, who believed single soldiers were more likely to join his army. Legend has it that Valentine sent a friend (the jailer's daughter) a note signed "From Your Valentine" before he was executed on February 14 in 270 A.D. (That phrase is still used prominently on today's cards!)

Early Christians were happier with the idea of a holiday honoring the saint of romantic causes than with one recognizing a pagan festival. In 496 A.D., Pope Gelasius named February 14 in honor of St. Valentine as the patron saint of lovers. In 1969, Pope Paul VI dropped it from the calendar. However, the blend of Roman festival and Christian martyrdom had caught on, and Valentine's Day was here to stay.

So that's how it came about. How's that for trivial information. And of course, the most prolific symbol for the day...

Well no symbol can be as important as the HEART. The heart stands for the most profound and noblest of human emotions - that of love. To give someone one's heart means to give him or her one's whole being, for the heart is at the centre of one's existence. Wow. No kidding huh. And if you're a cynic, then this doesn't apply. You may as well come out for a drink with me tonight and toast to all ye losers celebrating a romantic evening for Valentine's. But really, who's the loser? Heh.

And the other important Valentine's symbol?

White roses are for true love and purity of the mind. Red roses are for love and passion. Yellow roses are for friendship. Black roses mean farewell. Pink roses mean friendship or sweetheart. And now you know. So next time you want out, you'd better be shopping for black roses.

Last year my hubby gave me a black pearl pendant on a gold chain. And three months later I lost it. Was that a sign, I wonder. Or was it just that the chain broke (result of vigorous dancing) and the pearl slipped off into a crack on the Bad Billys dancefloor? This year, I don't know what I'm getting. Nothing probably. We're broke and Valentines just happened to fall a day before pay-day. But I have enough for a margarita so I'll drown my sorrows in that, tonight!

Looking forward to...

2006-02-09T10:58:00.000-11:00

LAU TV

All the more motivation for me to go home early. To watch TV! I can hear you fellow local viewers breathing a sigh of relief and saying "finally!" Yes finally we get some real tv. No more Stingers and Lali and Atiinae o Samoa and what-not from SBC, our very own number one tv station. Number one because it was the only ONE. Monopoly's a bitch huh. And if you feel like some spiritual uplifting, tune in to GBN Trinity Broadcasting. Today LAU TV will be launched, Samoa's new commercial free-to-air (do I get a hell yeah!) station. They'll be showing ALL Super 14 matches so all ye devoted die-hard rugby fans rock on. Tonight they have CSI Miami and Lost. Okay I've seen all those and I'll bet they aren't the latest episodes, but who cares. Anything to relieve me of the boredom of Blue Heelers and Water Rats, no offence to Australian tv and your dry unimaginative programs. If you're living in a country with 100 channels or more, then you are right to think we are deprived. We are. Very much so. What more do you expect from watching ONE tv station which airs crap all day. How does that mouthful of competition taste aye? Sour you say? Hehe. Auckland Blues is playing Wellington Hurricanes tonight. Go Hurricanes!!

Voting for a better-governed Samoa

Who to vote for? What am I talking about, I haven't even registered to vote. Registration closes on Monday. Getting through the crowds to the electoral office is gonna be a bitch. It's an offence if you don't vote, they say. Who's gonna know? My hubby said we should register to vote at Malie - Sagaga Le Usoga which is his constituency and not mine. Besides I don't like the candidate from Malie, a local prominent businessman who made his way to success via a lot of crooked and illegal activity. Do we really need another sleazeball in parliament? I plan to register in my dad's constituency in Savaii - Gagaifomauga #1. And my candidate? A relative. Blood runs thicker... And he's not too bad. He'll make a good parliamentarian, honest and strongly supportive of his district's needs...until corruption comes along, as it always does, and poisons him into becoming the typical jerk-off politician. Hopefully it never happens. And as for my party? Sorry Christian party but I like my mamoe and if you're gonna ban mamoe being imported into the country, then you've lost my vote. Think crispy mamoe fresh off the hot rocks of the umu. You stick to your woman-power and Christian values, and leave my favorite food alone. Heh.

Blue Lagoon

Yes, going there tonight for a relaxing evening filled to overflowing with alcohol. Whoever the glass was half empty? I was there last night too. Can't remember much though. The alcohol I imbibed was enough to knock out a baby elephant. Woke up this morning thirsting for a Bloody Mary...the best thing to clear a hang-over. Ahhhh the feel of the vodka, tomato juice and tabasco trickling down my throat. Bliss! So yeah, it's a farewell for Helene tonight before she heads back to New Zealand.

Seeing the Sun

It's been 3 weeks and counting. The wrath of the heavy rains continue. And so does my search for dry decent clothing. I was almost tempted to wear something which had no colour coordination whatsoever. Almost. My fashion sense got to me first. And the thought of what La Fashionistas would have said had they seen me in my ridiculous attire of stripes and dots. And I'm tired of showering in cold water. My heater runs on solar power. Have we felt anything remotely solar lately? I think not. Even my baby is developing a slight cough from the wet weather. And I'm also tired of not being able to sit out on the verandah of Blue Lagoon on a perfectly cool, rain-less night. And most of all, I just love sunny days.

Getting Paid

I feel like there's an abyss at the bottom of my pocket and all my money manages to fall through it to Never-never Land. The moment I get paid, it's gone. Poof! Vanished. Where does it all go and why don't I ever get to see it and enjoy it? Because my farker of a husband keeps my bank card in his wallet. And I let him. Silly me. And when the bills are due, guess whose account the money's coming out of? I swear, every time it's payday I tell myself I'm gonna buy this, this and this. Does it ever eventuate? Nope. We're too busy buying other things and splurging on Macdonalds. Why? Because I'm a pig and love my double-cheese with a vengeance. That's why. So...next time...I will save some money! Next time.

Pouring Buckets

2006-02-07T10:09:00.000-11:00

I hate rain. I'm sitting here dejectedly making a puddle on the carpet. No, my bladder didn't let go or anything. I'm wet. No, not in a sexual turned-on way either. I'm bloody wet from running all the way from in front of Amau, plonking myself in a puddle at the street lights, then a stupid inconsiderate bastard drove past and swooshed water all over me, THEN when I crossed the road, the rain decided to outdo itself and absolutely drench me. I walked, with the little dignity I had left, up to my office, amidst the stares and ogles from the crowd below on the ground floor. Yes ogles, because my perfectly ironed white shirt had become a mud-stained see-through one. And so what if you can see through my skirt, perverts. And so here I am. Wet. Soaking wet. Turning up the air con to dry myself and give me the flu at the same time. Wonderful. Just fucking wonderful. I hate rain. The guy on fm was like "thank you to SWEL for patching up the roads all over Apia...and then down came the rain and washed the patch away" Harhar! Damn right! They patch it with soil. Soil! And what is the rain gonna do to it? Turn the soil into tar? When you think they can't get any dumber, they manage to surprise themselves.

Saw Henry's new tucson today. Leaga e le mafai lava le fia diva a le aunty. Nice car. VERY nice car. Yes and one day very soon I will ride in it! And yes, I have no life and am reduced to coveting other people's cars, materialistic old me.

Beaut isn't it? This is prior to it being painted UB40 colours all over.

One day, I tell myself. One day I too will have a car. And my husband tells me "yeah, when hell freezes over". Here's me hoping it will freeze over SOON. Can you tell how supportive he is, the darling? I tell him I need a car and we should save up for one. Answer? "YOU save up, I've got mine already." And you wonder why I haven't divorced the bastard yet. Whatever happened to "for richer or for poorer?" Well I'm poor-er now, and car-less so I think that warrants my hubby breaking that fixed account already and buying me a car, dammit! Wonder if the bank will accept my signature to withdraw it? Hmmmmmm. Feel like stirring up trouble and creating some "sparks" in my marriage. I'm listening to a song on the radio which goes something like: "I'm giving him something he can feel. To let him know this love's for real." Well he should definitely feel his pocket lighter tomorrow. That's as REAL as it's ever gonna get. Darling.

Chopsuey thoughts

2006-02-02T14:36:00.000-11:00

Why chopsuey? Well think MIX. Eh then why not "ding dong thoughts". Probably coz that just sounds nasty. Ding dong. Remember when we were little and we used to call penises "ding dongs"? When I first heard it, I thought maybe little boys had bells in their pants. As a little girl, I kicked so many boys in the solar plexus hoping to hear a bell ring. Haha. Ching ching! So it's a whole lot of meandering today. That's what happens when you're struck with a bout of ennui. I was busy all morning and now it's tick...tock...tick...fark...tick...yawn.

Yesterday I left home for work at 8. By 9 I was at Vaigaga in front of the Hyundai (salivating at the sight of Henry's tucson) outlet. The traffic was well and truly farked!! Total jam. I felt like I was literally crawling to work. This bloody bus decides to create a whole new lane between the cars and the houses on the side of the road. I was so pissed. Made me wish I was driving a farken bulldozer so I could mow everyone down and kick that bus-driver's ass. And the pot holes? My car was almost buried in one of them. What the hell is the MWTI doing? Or SWEL. Or whatever they're called. All I know is they're doing a pretty crap job with the roads. Trust the government to get some cheap tar from somewhere in the depths of the African jungle to make the roads. It only has to drizzle and voila! A hundred pot holes litter the roads.

Yes this is the one I almost farken drowned in! There's even grass growing in it coz it takes Public Works a million years to do anything about it (unless of course elections are coming up)

There's a verse in the Bible that goes something like "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die". Hmm. Truer words were never said. That pretty much sums up life huh? Well okay and you're like "life is fulfilling in many other ways". So it sums up my life. Eat, eat and eat some more. Drink. Definitely drink. I wonder if they meant "drink" as in alcohol? And be merry? Always. Never miss a chance to be merry. So basically we take every good opportunity as it comes and make the most of life? Question. Am I doing that? Am I looking at the glass half full? Am I optimistic about my future? Or am I just taking the saying literally and eating like a pig, drinking like a fish (is there some sort of animalistic pattern forming here?) and being merry in the form of partying and clubbing like the sun ain't never gonna come up tomorrow? Umm...yeah. Ha. When you grow older, you start getting pensive about these things. You start asking questions like "What does life mean?" whilst contemplating the tiny hairs growing out of your navel (what the f...?). And if your life is boring or unfulfilling or depressing, I suggest you invest in a gun. Perhaps a silencer unless you want the neighboring faleo'o to hear. In my case, I find a palliative. Yes a palliative in the form of smoking, drinking (yes it exacerbates the "tomorrow we die" part, doesn't it?), music, reading, BLOGGING. I rue the day that I have to buy that gun...hehe.

Saw Underworld Evolution yesterday. No, I didn't buy any food. The movie? Quite good. Almost as good as the first one. The plot was straight-forward until halfway through the movie it started going all over the place - think chicken with no head. The plot ends up fighting its own internal logic and we're left wondering what the hell is happening? The action scenes are quick...not enough to feed the inner violent villain in us all.

Look at her suit...fits like a glove. Bitch.

And please, a little originality wouldn't hurt. I'm tired of Kate Beckinsale doing her *sail in the air* thing. During her last fight sequence with Markus, there were at least 4 punches each and then it was all over. So much for prolonging my excitement. A lot of blood though. Quite gory in fact.

The guy is cute though. Michael the hybrid. Great body. *and on she dreams*

BUT...for all that it's worth, it was a good movie. Enjoyable. Simple enough to understand especially for us Samoans (and John & sidekick Chee). There's a good guy and a bad guy. Good fighting evil. Good guy wins. Bad guy dies. We go home happy. And slightly queasy.

Good morning! Yes, ten years later. It's a wonderful morning, only because it's FRIDAY!! The weekend. My parents leave for Sydney tomorrow and then on to Manila. Lucky bums. Oh well, they need the break. And God knows, we need the break. Haha. So we get to house-sit. Yay!

Preposterous Prices!

2006-01-30T09:51:00.000-11:00

Gawd I am so peeved. I mean, PEEVED. Went to see a movie on Saturday. Thought I might buy a drink so I got one small spring water and a can of pepsi fire. I gave $10 and got back $2.90 change. I was thinking "hmm, the guy must've got my change wrong" so I asked the farker how much my drinks cost.

This is $4.50 at Magik Cinemas. You can buy it at any local store for $2.20. What the f....?

And this is $2.60 and only $1.80 at any other store.

Is Magik Cinemas ripping us off or what?? So they aren't making a profit on movie tickets, so they make a ridiculous mark-up in the prices of food and drinks to make up for it? That's a load of bull. Who do we complain to about these things? Is this like a complete violation of our consumer rights? Interestingly enough, no one else seemed to be bothered by it. Rich bastards. But this is money well-earned and I'm not about to blow it away on prices which have clearly been marked up 110% dammit. What's more, I looked at the prices of their twisties and chips...same damn thing. Does Magik think that because it has monopoly on movie screening (it's the only bloody movie theatre anyway) it can suck us dry at their food section and noone will complain?? *sigh* I guess there's no point going to the price control board huh? I can just hear the answer. "We only deal with basic necessity items and as far as we are concerned, PEPSI FIRE is NOT an item of necessity". *more sighs* AND, no point boycotting Magik coz then where the hell am I gonna go to watch a movie? SO...remind me to stuff my face before I go to see a movie. Grrr...still pissed off. I'm getting constipation from thinking about it. Maposua's face keeps drifting in and out of my thoughts, and I'm having lovely fantasies about bashing my pepsi into the side of his head or blasting him with a farken bazooka and watching the top of his shiny balding head erupt into little smithereens. *ahhh feel better now* But still, $4.50 for a farken pepsi!!!

The early bird...

2006-01-27T08:31:00.000-11:00

Yep, it gets the worm. So where's my worm? Did someone beat me to it? I was early to work...how eager-beaver is THAT? And my boss was here before me. I knew I should've gone first to breaky with the hubby. He's gone off to Seafood for a nice combination omelette. I can hear my stomach growling just thinking about omelettes.

Well at least I ain't eating THAT. Although I ALMOST did, this morning. Hahaha. But no, I don't need any energy-sapping activities before I go to work. Tried it once. Slept under my desk the whole day. Didn't get a single piece of work done. Not only was I bone-tired and literally drained...lol...but I kept thinking about it and wanting MORE. Yes, this was prior to my being married...coz you know marriage takes all the fun out of it, and then it's like stifling a yawn and saying "hmm, the ceiling's looking a little dirty hun" while he's hard at it, working himself into a sweat. LOL. I was talking about food. Now my tummy doesn't feel so good. *looking slightly green*

So the question remains. What the hell am I going to eat?

Yummmm. Oh I would give my left leg for an all-you-can-eat breakfast. Sinalei's buffet breaky...mmmmmmm! Fuck I'm killing myself here. *walks to McPeanuts for a good ol' curry & sapasui*. Yep, something more to my kind of budget. Just like I asked the hubby for some money to buy food and nigga gives me 2 tala. I tried complaining and he's like "ua lava ga 'ai, you're getting as round as a ball". No love lost there huh.

Is there life after babies?

2006-01-26T13:38:00.000-11:00

Okay so it's addictive. I got back from lunch and the first thing I thought was "go blog!". So here I am. Don't get me wrong, I'm still hitting the SEND & RECEIVE button every 5 seconds, but blogging comes a close second.

So to answer the title of this post. Is there life after babies?

For every unmarried, independent, free-willed girl between 20 -30, the answer is probably NO. Hence their unmarried, childless state I suppose. I used to be one of those. It was all about LIVING LIFE before marriage and babies hits you like a oncoming lorry. Take the picture above. After all that education and you're going to "throw it all away" for a baby and staying home. It's all in perspective and believe me, it changes once you have taken that step forward. I used to look at those couples who had babies at a young age and all I felt for them was pity. Pity that they didn't wait, and enjoy life more, without the hassle involved with kids and diapers and vomit and makagaga husbands etc. And then that fucking oncoming lorry hit me. Enter marriage and a baby. I thought to myself, "omg I can't do this!!" But apparently I can. Coz I'm still doing it. I've still got a husband (one I feel like killing every day of the week) and a baby whom I adore like there ain't no tomorrow. I'm not gonna say "I can't picture life before baby" coz hell yeah I can! *reminisces on the late nights out and the after parties and getting home only when the weekend is over* Wasn't life good? Well now life is better. I have a baby. She's a little devil and a spoiled one at that. And I STILL get to go out though I have a time limit. And I still have time to do other things. SO...I reckon life is great after babies. More fulfilling. Nothing beats coming home after a days work to see your baby all cute and pretty and SMILING at you. The rewards beat all. After all, I can't remain an unmarried, independent free-willed girl forever. Even better, I can become a married, yet still independent (rriiiiight) free-willed mother of 1!

Still hitting that SEND & RECEIVE button. You cannot imagine the thrill I get when I see "1 message received". Isn't life just grand? I have a job where I don't do shit and get paid shit for it. Makes enough sense to me. Time to find another job you think? I've got one job offer but still holding out for something better. *five years later at Poly and still holding out*. Yeah, procrastinator and under-achiever that I am.

Yes that's exactly the type of job I want. The type that inflicts PAIN on others, just as my employer used to do to me. Fuckers. *prays the I.T. guys at the office don't happen to be reading this*

My first time!!

2006-01-26T10:38:00.000-11:00

Yay my first post. *jumps for joy*. I've always intended to make a blog and tell people of the empty, meaningless life I live, but something always comes along to distract me. Blogging. The word sounds good. Makes me want to type on and on. I've been motivated to write because of the blogs I've read so far. Fantastic stuff! How do people write like that? Why am I not as talented? Are there classes I can take to enhance my writing skills? *sighs* Wish I had talent. The only talent I seem to have is the constant reaching out to open the fridge door. Open. Shovel, shovel, shovel. Close. *five minutes later* Open. Yep, the story of my life.

My baby was keeping me up last night. Right now I feel like a 22-wheeler ran me over five times. I was so tired. How do working mothers do it? After about an hour of trying to get Tino to sleep...at 2AM dammit...I woke up the babysitter. How sad is that? Poor girl had to get up and put baby to sleep. While I slept. I felt so guilty but fatigue surpassed that. And anyway, I told myself, she's getting paid to look after baby. Yeah right. I'm just a bad mother who can't put her own baby to sleep.

There was a car crash in front of our house early this morning.

No this isn't it, coz I would've kicked ass for wrecking our fence. Not that we have one. But cool pic though huh?

We had to take this poor family to the hospital...their car had been hit badly and the kids were in bad condition. One of the boys died on the way to the hospital. In our car! Poor boy and poor parents. I'm still thinking about the car. I'm taking it to the car wash to have it totally disinfected. *shudders* There was blood all over the door. I felt like wrapping myself up in a raincoat before getting into the car. I'm not trying to be all "igo'igo" and thinking "ewww"...but...EWWW!! In our car, dammit! Why didn't they crash in front of the neighbors for fark's sake.

And so ends my first post. Not much, but it'll do.